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Tea with Auntie: Dating is Rejection

Aug 20, 2019

Tea with Auntie is a bi-weekly advice segment. Have questions you want Auntie to answer? Share your questions here:

Dear Auntie, I met a girl, she was really nice and sweet. We talked for a good month and some change to the point we were planning on meeting up. Then the time came, something happens and we can’t link up. Each time I got a reasonable excuse, plus she has a child, so I was pretty patient with that. But the last and final time it happened, she just went ghost on me and I haven’t gotten a reason why or heard from her since then. It’s already bad enough that I shy up something terrible when i comes to approaching a girl and she’s the first girl that actually gave me the time of day. But now since that “rejection” I just feel like going back in my shell and just waiting for someone to notice me. I know it’s not right but I don’t know what else to do. What ya think Auntie?Anonymous, 24

Auntie: I am sipping my tea already with this. How many times will I have to repeat myself? Know. Your. Worth. Sounds like you were doing a lot for this mama and she wasn’t giving you the same consideration back. Mentioning the fact that you shy up was already going to set you up for rejection – I don’t understand how it takes over a month to meet up unless that person is out of the country. I give it maximum two weeks or else you are not worth my time. Now in regards to your shyness, going back in a shell is not going to allow someone to notice you because you are literally hiding from the world. Take the lessons from this and learn from them moving forward. Everyone is always afraid of rejection, when that is literally what dating is – a bunch of rejection until you make a cool friend or find your person. So if you are afraid of rejection, you are afraid of dating and maybe come back and try again when you are more in love with yourself. But that’s just me – community what is your advice for this person?

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