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Community Guidelines

At HER, we aim to create a secure space for sapphics (queer women, intersex, ace, trans and non-binary folks) to unapologetically be themselves and build meaningful connections. We love to see:


• Embrace diverse opinions with respect, humor, and kindness. No judgment or drama.

• Trust that members have good intentions. If someone’s words are unintentionally hurtful, address it respectfully. Let’s grow to understand each other.

Safety & inclusivity

• Cherish diverse content that unites the HER community, ensuring every member feels included and at ease.

• Acknowledge one another, engage in discussions, and support each other’s journeys.

• Our community keeps us safe. HER is dedicated to queer people, providing a tailored space that prioritizes social justice and inclusivity for these communities, fostering true equality.

Copyright issues

• Post only your photos. Include others only if you’re in the picture. Unauthorized sharing leads to removal from the app.

• Share third-party content, but give proper credit.

• No Revenge Posts: we won’t tolerate revenge porn, explicit site content, trafficking, or unauthorized photo sharing. If it’s not yours, don’t post.

Report violations to for prompt removal.

Speaking of photos and posts

• No TERFs – Trans people, you are loved! Transphobes, you can kick rocks.

• N0 nudes – Please keep everything covered until policies change. Inappropriate posts may be removed.

• Face photo – Required for safety and authenticity. Profiles without face photos will be banned.

• No bullying – Respect others’ opinions and experiences. Spread kindness, not hate.

• No fake news.

• No minors: 18+ only.

• No unaccompanied minors in photos.

• Use trigger warnings – Be mindful and respectful when posting.

• Keep privacy intact: Don’t share personal info.

• Report: Help us maintain a safe community by reporting suspicious activities or harassment.

• Consent is key: Ensure everyone’s on board before sharing sensitive content.

• All love is valid: No discrimination. Spread love, not hate!

• Mental health matters: Be kind, empathetic, and understanding.

• No-self advertising, spamming, or scamming. Violators may be removed.

• No spam, stay on topic in communities. Off-topic posts may be moved or removed.

• Zero tolerance – No phobic, discriminatory, or abusive behavior. Be respectful.

Community rules

Any post or profile is at liberty to be removed by HER staff or HER moderators if they do not comply with the community rules.


We do not allow “unicorn hunting” on HER. Why not?

Objectification: Unicorn hunters often treat the “unicorn” as an object to fulfil their fantasies rather than as an individual with their own desires, emotions, and boundaries.

Devaluation of bisexuality: This practice perpetuates stereotypes that bisexual people are promiscuous or “up for anything.” It undermines the legitimacy of their identities and relationships.

Power imbalance: The pre-existing couple often holds a higher status in the relationship, with the “unicorn” expected to conform to their rules and expectations. This can lead to unequal dynamics and a lack of agency for the third party.

Emotional harm: Unicorns may feel pressure to please both partners, leading to emotional stress and potential harm. Additionally, couples may not fully consider the emotional needs of the third party, causing them to feel used or unimportant.

Exclusion from the community: Unicorn hunting can make LGBTQ+ spaces feel unwelcoming to bisexual or queer individuals who are targeted or objectified, hindering their ability to build genuine connections and find support.

Lack of respect for consent and boundaries: In some cases, unicorn hunters may disregard the boundaries, preferences, and consent of the person they are pursuing, leading to uncomfortable or harmful situations.

We know plenty of unicorns actively consent to unicorning for a night, but this is not the right platform to look for them.


We do not allow trans chasers on HER. When chasers enter the chat, we see reports of:

Objectification: Trans chasers often fetishize and objectify transgender people, which can make them feel dehumanized and devalued as individuals.

Lack of genuine interest: Trans chasers may be more interested in fulfilling their own fantasies than in forming genuine connections with transgender people, leading to superficial or one-sided relationships.

Disregard for boundaries and consent: Trans chasers may not respect the personal boundaries, comfort levels, and consent of transgender individuals, which can lead to uncomfortable or harmful situations.

Emotional distress: Encounters with trans chasers can cause emotional stress and anxiety for transgender individuals, who may feel used, exploited, or invalidated.

Erosion of trust: Transgender people may become wary of potential partners or feel unable to trust others in dating environments, as they may be concerned about encountering trans chasers.

Undermining identity: Trans chasers may reduce transgender people to their transgender status, undermining the complexity and legitimacy of their identities.

Infringement of safe spaces: The presence of trans chasers in FLINTA spaces can make these environments feel less safe, supportive, and inclusive for transgender individuals seeking community and connections.


Our lovely moderators, easily identified by a black M on their profiles, are dedicated community members who generously volunteer their time to help maintain a safe, inclusive, and nurturing space for all. They can’t keep an eye on every comment or post, but they put their hearts into removing content and users that don’t align with our community guidelines. Remember, we’re all in this together to keep our community safe and sound.

We cherish your collaboration in fostering this supportive environment. If you come across a post or comment that doesn’t vibe with our guidelines, please report it for prompt removal. For anything that requires immediate attention, feel free to email the link/post/profile to for review.

By working together and looking out for each other, we can ensure our community stays safe and welcoming. If you have a passion for helping others and are interested in becoming a moderator, reach out to the moderators of the community you’re keen on, and they’ll be more than happy to chat with you!

Need help?

We understand everyone has battles that they are working through.  Here are some resources to help you fight, and seek the support you need.  You’ve got this.

Questions about the community guidelines?  You can ask questions in the HER community or contact