Robyn Exton, Jill O'Sullivan, Mook Phanpinit
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Robyn Exton, Jill O'Sullivan, Mook Phanpinit
Apr 03, 2026
This question comes up all the time in sapphic dating spaces: can asexual people have romantic relationships?
Short answer: yes. Longer answer: yeeeeeeeeees. And they might not look like what you’ve been taught to expect.
If you’ve ever felt like the world only really recognizes one version of intimacy (and it’s very sex-focused and thirsty), you’re not imagining it.
But Asexuality doesn’t take away your capacity for love, closeness, or partnership… It just shifts how attraction and intimacy show up. And honestly? Once you let go of the “one right way to date” narrative, things start to open up in a really beautiful way.
Let’s break down the myths, the realities, and what asexual relationships actually look like, especially in sapphic spaces where we already know the rules are… flexible at best. IYKYK.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation where someone experiences little or no sexual attraction. It’s not celibacy, and it’s not about libido. It’s specifically about attraction.
Romantic attraction, though? That’s a whole different ballgame. It’s about emotional closeness, partnership, affection, and building a life together.
And attraction isn’t just one thing; it’s layered and complex. Once you start separating those layers, everything makes a lot more sense.
| Type of attraction | Description | Example expression |
| Romantic | Desire for emotional closeness, love, partnership | Dating, sharing life milestones |
| Sensual | Desire for gentle physical closeness | Cuddling or holding hands |
| Aesthetic | Appreciation of someone’s beauty | Finding someone visually appealing |
| Platonic | Deep friendship or companionship | Life partnership without romance |
| Emotional | Desire for mutual trust and connection | Long conversations, shared goals |
Recognising these distinctions clarifies how asexual people can (and do) pursue romantic relationships.
This one really sticks around, and it’s just not true. Like, even a little bit.
It assumes that romance requires sexual attraction, which completely erases the way so many asexual people actually experience love. Plenty of asexual folks want partnership, affection, commitment, all of it.
Think things like: soft routines together, inside jokes, sharing a home, sending each other memes at 1 am. Love shows up in a lot of ways, without the sexy bits.
Romantic attraction is the emotional pull toward love or connection, separate from sexual attraction.
Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not the same, and once you separate them, everything clicks.
Asexual people might not feel sexual attraction, but many still experience romantic attraction and build meaningful, long-term relationships as romantic asexuals.
Romance here can look like:
It’s not any less real. It’s just not centered on sex.
Another classic mix-up.
“Aromantic” means someone experiences little or no romantic attraction. That’s separate from being asexual. Some people are both, some are neither, and many fall somewhere in between.
Blurring these lines invalidates the diversity within the asexual community. Some are both asexual and aromantic, while others fall somewhere along the aromantic spectrum or are homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or demiromantic. Recognizing this nuance helps everyone find belonging and agency over how they love.
You can be asexual and still have a clear romantic orientation.
Some common ones include:
| Orientation type | Defines attraction to | Can it exist with asexuality? |
| Homoromantic | Same gender | Yes |
| Biromantic | Two or more genders | Yes |
| Aromantic | Little or no romantic attraction | Yes |
| Demiromantic | Develops romantic feelings after a close bond | Yes |
| Panromantic | People, regardless of gender | Yes |
| Heteroromantic | Opposing gender | Yes |
This separation between romantic and sexual identity allows for more freedom in how relationships form, especially in sapphic spaces where fluidity and self-definition are part of the rhythm.
Modern culture often equates intimacy with sex, which implies that relationships without sexual activity are somehow incomplete or less meaningful. This myth reinforces outdated norms and ignores the validity of literally all other forms of closeness. Many asexual people enjoy emotionally rich relationships centred on shared time, affection, or care.
Non-sexual relationships can be just as real, valid, and fulfilling. Some couples might identify as queerplatonic partners, others cohabitate or co-parent, and many simply redefine what closeness means on their own terms.
Healthy asexual relationships, like all relationships, are built through communication, consent, and mutual understanding.
There’s no single blueprint. Here’s some examples to help:
| Relationship model | What it may look like |
| Non-sexual romantic partnership | Shared romance, no sex |
| Mixed-orientation relationship | One partner is asexual, the other isn’t |
| Queerplatonic partnership | Partnership beyond friendship, but not traditionally romantic |
| Polyamorous or open arrangements | Multiple partners with clear communication |
The common thread isn’t sex. It’s compatibility.
Asexual sapphics tend to be really intentional about how they build relationships. There’s often more conversation upfront about boundaries, needs, and what intimacy actually means.
For example:
There’s no one way to do it right, just what works for the people involved.
Here’s some grounding steps:
If there’s one thing that makes asexual relationships strong, it’s communication.
Instead of assuming, you ask:
It’s collaborative. Ongoing. And honestly, kind of refreshing.
Spaces like HER help with this too, whether it’s through profile options, community groups, or just being in an environment where you don’t have to start from zero explaining yourself.
Recognizing the wide diversity of asexual experiences unlocks better relationships for everyone. Myths lose power, stigma fades, and people gain tools to love authentically, whether that means deep companionship or quiet cohabitation.
Benefits include:
When dating spaces embrace this nuance, everyone wins. HER continues to make that real by normalising asexual and aromantic representation as a natural part of sapphic love and community.
Yes. Many asexual people experience romantic love and build lasting relationships that center on emotional closeness rather than sexual attraction.
Intimacy can mean shared time, affection, conversation, or mutual care; whatever makes both partners feel connected.
Asexual people may be homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, heteroromantic, aromantic, or demiromantic, reflecting distinct romantic preferences.
By communicating openly, practising consent, and finding creative, comfortable ways to express care and trust.
No. Asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction, not a choice like celibacy or a physical factor like low libido.
Robyn Exton, Jill O'Sullivan, Mook Phanpinit
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
