Introducing ABCD Flagging: Anyone But Cis Dudes

We hear it all the time. Messages from our community expressing frustration that cis men still manage to appear in sapphic spaces, asking the question, “Can we not have anything to ourselves?!” We know how exhausting it is to set a boundary only to have it completely ignored. And we know how frustrating it is to even have to implement a feature like this in the first place.

So, we’re doing something about it.

Introducing ABCD (Anyone But Cis Dudes), a new flagging tool designed to keep HER what it’s meant to be: a space for queer women and trans+ people, and those beyond the binary.

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The term sapphic is used to encompass a wide range of sexual and romantic orientations and gender identities, including but not limited to lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and queer. It has been adopted as an umbrella term that includes non-binary individuals, cis women, and trans+ people as well- ABCD!

We’re committed to making our platform safer, more affirming, and truly reflective of the community that it was created for.  And as always, we’ll continue listening, learning, and evolving and keep doing the work to make sure HER stays the sapphic space you deserve.

How It Works

The ABCD flag allows you to report a profile if a cis man appears while you’re swiping. This is not a dislike button, a vibe check, or a tool for gatekeeping gender expression. 

 ✅You should use the ABCD flag if:

• A profile in sapphic mode belongs to a cisgender man.
• A profile is clearly miscategorized (e.g., their gender selection doesn’t match their stated identity in their bio).

❌You should NOT use the ABCD flag if:

• You don’t find someone attractive, or they’re not your type. That’s what the left swipe is for.
• Someone doesn’t fit your idea of what a sapphic person should look like. Gender expression varies, and sapphic identity is diverse.
• You’re upset with someone for reasons unrelated to their gender. If someone violates our guidelines, please use the reporting tools at the bottom of their profile.

Read Before You Report

We know that gender diversity is vast, and sometimes, you may not be sure. Before flagging someone, take a moment to read their profile. If they identify as a queer woman, trans person, nonbinary individual, or otherwise align themselves with the sapphic community, they belong here. 

Misgendering is harmful, and weaponizing this feature against gender-diverse individuals is not acceptable. If you’re ever unsure, err on the side of respect.

A Commitment to Safe & Affirming Spaces

This feature is a step forward in maintaining the sapphic space we’ve all worked to build. However, we also monitor the use of ABCD to ensure it isn’t being misused. If we see or are alerted to patterns of abuse, we will step in to correct it.

Mistakes can happen, and we encourage everyone to use this feature with care. If someone is making you uncomfortable for reasons unrelated to their gender identity, please use our standard reporting tools instead.

We appreciate this community and your feedback as we continue working toward a more inclusive and affirming experience for all sapphics.

Because sapphic spaces should belong to sapphics.