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Reviving Lesbian Love: How to Save a Relationship

Oct 29, 2023

Reviving Lesbian Love: How to Save a Relationship

Ever found yourself on the precipice, teetering between giving up and fighting to save a relationship with someone you hold dear? Maybe you’re asking yourself things like… if it was really, truly meant to be, would it be this hard? Is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of our lives?

If so, you’re not alone. Far from it, actually.

Most people who’ve been in the dating scene long enough have, at one point or another, wondered how they could save a relationship. 

Maybe it was with your first big love, and you were both young and desperate to make things work. Maybe it was with a long-term partner or even the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. 

And while not all relationships can, or even should, be saved — we (the people in those relationships) can learn real-life tools backed by experts to improve our communication skills, heal our wounds, and see if what we have is something we want to fight for or something we might need to set free.

Why people want to save their relationships

A strong relationship can be like a beautiful symphony. But when you get stuck playing off-beat time and time again, you might question if it’s worth saving.

Why bother to fix what seems like a failing or dying relationship? Well, because it’s hard sometimes to tell the difference between a bad set and a bad bandmate. Okay, I’ll drop the music metaphors now.

What I mean to say is, sometimes, it’s hard to tell if our relationship is just in a temporary rut, which is normal and happens to every couple at one point or another, or if our partner(s) and we are just not a right fit for each other.

Love is complicated and doesn’t tend to play by the rules. 

That means that sometimes, we’re stuck in a rut that leads to a fight which then leads to a breakthrough where all parties suddenly understand each other better and are able to move forward… and other times, we hold on, hoping for a breakthrough that just never comes.

And that’s because neither breakthroughs nor good times happen without some effort. These moments are only possible when the parties involved share mutual respect, have similar expectations, are willing to work as teammates, and truly want things to work. 

Research shows that successful relationships often have an ‘admiration system’ at their core. According to the Lesbian Couples Institute’s study on failed relationships among same-sex couples, focusing more on admiration than problems could be key to bringing back harmony.

It makes sense: When we admire someone deeply—we value them for who they are—it becomes easier to forgive little mistakes and make our partner feel safe enough to be authentically themselves. Because they know that despite the tough times, we’re still making an effort to see them as the wonderful people we fell in love with and still love them despite any tension or struggles.

And this is a two-way street. 

If we’re still reminding our partners of their great qualities, but they are not making us feel safe and seen or are actively putting us down — then that might be a sign it’s time to let a relationship go.

However, if your partnership feels rough around the edges right now but still has moments of joy and tenderness that are facilitated by both parties — it may well be worth fighting for. So before throwing in the towel, ask yourself: Is there still enough good left here? Are we both still making an effort to make each other feel loved, despite our current issues?

Recognizing the signs of trouble in a relationship

Spotting red flags early on can be key to saving your relationship. A common warning sign is when physical contact and emotional connection start to wane. This could mean anything from less eye contact, fewer hugs, snarky comments that feel too personal, possessiveness, or feeling distant even when you’re together.

In lesbian relationships, these signs might look different due to societal pressures and stereotypes about how women should interact with each other. It’s crucial not only to understand what makes a lesbian relationship unique but also to recognize any underlying issues that may cause trouble.

The first year of most relationships often includes an intense infatuation phase known as limerence, which typically lasts about 12 months, according to love and relationship experts. After this period ends, it’s natural for things to cool down slightly – but if you notice significant changes in trust or intimacy levels, it may be time for some honest communication.

Facing trust issues head-on

If trust issues are causing strain between you two, don’t brush them under the rug. Open up conversations around these concerns so they don’t fester into larger problems later on. In doing so, both partners feel safe expressing their feelings without fear of judgment or rejection – making for stronger bonds over time.

Maintaining physical contact

A healthy dose of physical affection helps maintain a deep intimate connection among couples despite any ongoing challenges in their love life. I mean, it’s not just me who thinks so. According to research, humans need eight hugs a day to feel happy! 

So, next time you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, try to show your partner reassurance through a comforting touch if you both feel comfortable with that. You may be shocked to see how far a good hug can go.

Building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship

A healthy relationship doesn’t just happen; it takes work and mental health awareness. But, you know what? The effort is worth it. According to the Gottman Institute, creating a “fondness and admiration system” can help solidify your love relationship.

To start with, make sure you spend quality time together. Enjoying each other’s company not only builds strong bonds but also makes both partners feel connected. A game night or even cooking dinner together could be all it takes.

Mental health plays an essential role in maintaining these bonds. It helps keep things clear between you two, promoting understanding and empathy – key elements of any successful lesbian love life.

One strategy often overlooked is learning your partner’s “love languages.” This approach involves recognizing how your partner feels loved and valued – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch are some common ones, according to the book “The 5 Love Languages“. So go ahead. Discover their language and speak it fluently.

Paying attention to one’s mental well-being strengthens emotional intimacy in relationships too. Activities like mindfulness exercises allow couples to extend compassion towards themselves while enhancing their capacity for empathy towards others — that’s being a good partner right there.

Effective communication for relationship success

In any relationship, open communication is the lifeblood that keeps love thriving. Understanding and empathy are key, and it’s crucial to practice active listening.

Understanding your partner’s love language can help foster effective communication. This means being open about difficult topics and feelings – creating an environment of trust.

The role of honesty in communication

Honesty involves more than just being truthful; it also includes expressing one’s thoughts and emotions candidly. In fact, studies show that honesty plays a vital role in effective communication within relationships.

Acknowledging when things aren’t going well is as important as celebrating good times together. It allows both partners to understand each other better and navigate through rough patches with ease.

Cultivating this level of honest dialogue doesn’t happen overnight, though – it takes work. But once achieved, you’ll find yourselves more connected than ever before. Remember: no topic should be off-limits between you two.

Nurturing emotional and physical Intimacy

Spending quality time together is the key to nurturing both emotional connection and physical intimacy. Just like plants need sunlight, relationships thrive on shared moments. So make sure you carve out a specific time in your busy schedule for just you two.

But how do we go about this? The answer lies in a simple yet profound truth: Treat your partner as if they’re someone precious who deserves understanding, care, respect, and yes – lots of love. Research shows that happy couples keep dating each other throughout their relationship.

The best part is that these special times don’t always have to be grand gestures or exotic vacations. Even small actions can create big ripples of intimacy. For example:

  • Maintaining eye contact during conversations – it’s an unspoken way of saying, “I see you.”
  • Taking a walk together after dinner – hand-in-hand under the stars, maybe?
  • Sending them a loving text message during the day to remind them you care.
  • Helping out around the house or making dinner can be a great way to show up for your relationship.

Above all else, though, remember that patience is paramount because nurturing intimacy takes work, but it’s worth every second spent.

Creating a safe and supportive space

In every relationship, it’s vital to create a safe space. It means setting boundaries that both partners respect. In this zone, you’re free to express gratitude and love without fear of judgment or ridicule.

This doesn’t happen overnight, though. Taking the time to understand oneself is essential before embarking on meaningful relationships

Overcoming negative opinions from others

Facing negative opinions can be tough, but maintaining self-respect is key here. Remember: your partner should feel safe with you (and vice-versa) —both emotionally and physically.

You must set boundaries not just with each other but also between your relationship and the outside world. Let mutual respect guide these decisions because only then can true love flourish in its full capacity.

Sometimes outsiders may question your lifestyle choices due to ignorance or prejudice against lesbian relationships; however, such views shouldn’t shake your resolve if you know what makes both of you happy as individuals as well as together.

Rebuilding trust and repairing the relationship

Mending a damaged relationship takes work, but it can be so worth it. To fix your love life, you must rebuild trust with your partner.

When rebuilding trust, remember this: what you pay attention to most is what you end up feeling. So make sure to focus on positivity and growth rather than past mistakes or regrets.

Honest communication plays an essential role in mending fences. Share feelings openly without blame or judgment; this helps both partners feel safe and heard. Research shows that building a “fondness and admiration system” can strengthen bonds significantly.

The role of active listening in rebuilding trust

To repair a relationship successfully, active listening skills are crucial. This means paying full attention when your partner speaks – no distractions. Maintaining eye contact signals respect while showing that their words matter to you.

You should also ask open-ended questions as part of active listening because they promote deeper conversation. For instance: “How did that situation make you feel?” instead of just “Did that upset you?”

Such conversations help both partners feel closer despite going through rough patches together. Lesbian Couples Institute emphasizes the importance of effective communication for healthy relationships.

FAQs in Relation to How to Save a Relationship

How do you save a broken relationship?

You start by understanding the root cause of the issues, then work towards improving communication and rebuilding trust.

Can you save a struggling relationship?

Absolutely. Struggling relationships can be salvaged through mutual respect, open dialogue, patience, and consistent effort from both parties.

How do you save a relationship with someone you love?

To keep your love alive, foster an environment of honesty and openness. Make time for each other regularly to maintain an emotional connection.

What are the five steps to fix a relationship?

The five key steps include acknowledging problems, boosting communication skills, setting boundaries, investing in quality time together, and seeking professional help if necessary.

So, we’ve sailed through the stormy seas of love together. You’ve learned how to save a relationship by recognizing red flags early on and building solid foundations rooted in trust.

Remember, effective communication is the key to guiding you back home when things get rough. Honesty isn’t just the best policy; it’s also your lifeline for keeping that intimate connection alive with your partner.

Nurturing emotional and physical intimacy takes work but think about this: the effort spent here multiplies joy tenfold in return! Make sure to spend quality time nurturing that bond.

Create a safe space where both of you feel secure enough to be vulnerable. Don’t forget – relationships are not just about weathering storms but enjoying good times too!

Finally, keep those lines open for rebuilding trust if needed because repairing broken ties can sometimes lead us towards stronger bonds than before. Here’s hoping these pearls will help guide your ship safely ashore into blissful harmony!

Daniela Ochoa-Bravo is a writer and creative based in Brooklyn, born in Bogotá. She is the Founder and Editor of Colectivo Tabú, a project dedicated to democratizing the publishing industry by creating a space where the works of emerging and established artists can seamlessly coexist alongside each other.

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