Safe Ways to Meet Other Lesbians During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Jan 13, 2022

Safe Ways to Meet Other Lesbians During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Lesbian dating already comes with a long list of struggles. From mainstream dating apps not being catered whatsoever to the LGBTQIA+ community to fears of discrimination, dating in a heteronormative society is tough. Now, of course, add on the last nearly two years of a pandemic, and it seems almost impossible to successfully date in the queer community.

Nonetheless, many have found ways to date and meet other lesbians safely during the pandemic – and even find their special someones. In a time when we are more isolated than ever before, it’s no surprise that many of us are searching to fill that loneliness. Love is in the air… but so is coronavirus. Luckily, we’ve compiled a list of some of the best tips we’ve learned over the pandemic to meet other lesbians during these strange times.

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Communication is Key: Talk About Your Concerns

When dating during covid, it’s important to make sure all parties are on the same page. Thus, communication is key! Everyone has different boundaries and varying levels of fear when it comes to covid. Plus, we can’t assume everyone is able-bodied or has a normal immune system, so it’s important to be aware of each other’s concerns.

As cases continue to rise, some people’s concerns have also risen, while others have become more comfortable as time goes on. We can’t assume where anyone stands, so it’s important we make it clear. Before getting closer with people during the pandemic, make sure to go over these topics:

  • Vaccination status. Do you both have the same values?
  • Social distancing. Are they limiting their circle of people?
  • Attending in-person events. Are they staying home, regularly going to coffee shops, or going to parties?
  • Health concerns. Is anyone immunocompromised?

Although it may feel awkward sometimes to talk about more serious subjects right off the bat, we’re living in a time when it’s necessary. It will not only help you stay safe but also you to learn a lot about each other!

Text, Call and Video Chat First

In this time of social isolation, let’s be grateful that we’re at least living in the digital age. As more people are cooped up inside their homes, online dating during covid has increased. More people are breaking the stigmas of online dating and discovering that it’s a valid way to connect with other humans. Although mainstream dating apps are not created with queer people at the center, other apps like HER are designed solely for lesbian and LGBTQIA+ people to connect. 

During the pandemic, many people have also turned to virtual dates to meet fellow lesbians. Being two years into this pandemic, it’s become completely normalized to link up over Zoom, Facetime, text, and calls in order to get to know each other better before meeting up in person. Zoom dates are the future, and they’re not going away anytime soon. 

For Zoom date ideas we suggest: 

  • Getting takeout and eating together.
  • Watching a synchronized movie or TV show.
  • Trying a virtual museum tour (Yes, you can now tour the Louvre from the comfort of your home).
  • Play a game together (perfect if you both love Animal Crossing).
  • Have a wild Zoom party.

Regardless of what you decide to do, getting to know each other before meeting in person will help you assess if it’s worth the risk while making fun memories.

If You Decide to Meet in Person, Set Boundaries

In order to have clear boundaries, we first have to be honest with ourselves. Before diving into the pandemic dating world, you should be clear with yourself about what you are most comfortable with while coronavirus is still in the air. Next, we can take the steps to accurately communicate those boundaries to others. 

When discussing these boundaries, understand that everyone’s are valid. Just because some feel more comfortable with certain things does not mean that applies to everyone. In addition, don’t ignore the red flags when people don’t respect your own boundaries! Some of these red flags include:

  • Making fun of you for being worried.
  • Gaslighting you by saying things like, ‘Covid is not that big of a deal.’
  • Doing things/ going to events that you’ve explicitly said you’re uncomfortable with. 

On the upside, one benefit the pandemic provides us in dating is bringing people’s true character to light. This makes it a lot easier to assess if your values match.

Meet in a Space Where You Can Socially Distance

When first meeting in person, many lesbians have decided to meet somewhere they can socially distance. Throughout the pandemic, socially distanced picnic dates became extremely common. During the winter months, this can be a bit more difficult, but on a nice day, you can always take the opportunity to meet up for a socially distanced walk. Meeting in other outdoor spaces, like an outdoor coffee shop, etc., are also options for staying distanced.

Here are some of our top covid date ideas:

  • Going for a picnic (the cuter, the better).
  • Going for a socially distanced walk. Long walks on the beach are still possible!
  • Outdoor, spaced out concert dates.
  • Getting takeout.
  • Going for a hike.
  • Hitting up the local farmers market or flea market.
  • Going to a drive in/ outdoor movie.
  • Enjoying a scenic bike ride.

Although we’ve definitely had to get creative when dating during the pandemic, connecting with other people is certainly still possible.

Have a Plan for Sex

If you’ve decided to get closer, planning for safe sex during these times is important. In addition, it’s necessary to make sure everyone’s on the same page in terms of covid concerns. What we know about the virus for sure is that it is spread through saliva and respiratory particles. So when getting intimate, it’s important to keep this in mind. Some tips to keep everyone safe are:

  • Getting tested for covid before and after.
  • Keeping your circle small.
  • Using protection.
  • Getting vaccinated!

Being intimate with people who are following covid safety precautions is the safest way to go. According to nyc.gov, getting vaccinated is the best way to protect yourself from COVID-19, and allows you to “more safely go on dates, make out, and have sex.”

Spicing up Zoom dates with virtual sex is also a safe route to go! Whatever route you choose, it’s important to stick to what you’re comfortable with. Stick to your boundaries, communicate your needs, respect others – and meeting other lesbians during the pandemic doesn’t have to be a struggle!

A Safe Community with HER

Finding people who share our values and concerns allows us to make these strange times much easier. HER is the perfect platform to connect with like-minded lesbians and LGBTQIA+ individuals. We need human connection more now than ever, so find your safe and loving community today with the HER app.

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Forever an explorer, Komal still considers herself a California girl at heart and isn't sure she'll ever leave. She gains and loses hobbies every half-decade and has already amassed several different lives. From neuroscientist to creative consultant, she's had many titles - but the one that has stuck is Content Manager at HER. She hopes we get close to world peace and that society will continue to be a queerer, freer place. You can follow Komal on IG @callmekoms

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