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Jan 08, 2026
If you have been feeling a shift in the air this January, you are not alone.
While the rest of the world is busy with “New Year, New Me” resolutions, the sapphic community is moving to a different rhythm. We aren’t rushing to reinvent ourselves. We are taking a beat. We are checking our energy. And according to our latest data, we are collectively deciding that readiness isn’t a date on the calendar: it’s an internal feeling.
We call it The Sapphic Restart.
To better understand this vibe shift, we surveyed our users about how they are approaching dating in 2026. The results back up what we’ve all been sensing in our group chats: sapphics are ditching the pressure of “perfection” for something much more real.
Here’s what the Sapphic Restart looks like, by the numbers.
Forget the “clean slate” mentality. 68% of you told us that you are either fully restarting, easing back in, or intentionally changing how you date this year. This isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about carrying it forward with intention.
Instead of dating on autopilot, this year is defined by conscious choices. Only 3% of respondents said they are happily partnered, and 12% are focusing inward, which leaves the vast majority of our community in a state of active, intentional transition. You aren’t dating just to date. You are dating because you’re ready to try something different, and we love that for you.
If you assumed everyone was just back on the apps because they were bored over the holidays, think again.
67% of sapphics cite healing, emotional depth, or entering a new life chapter as their primary reason for restarting. This is a massive departure from casual experimentation and swiping. You aren’t looking for a distraction; you are returning from a place of growth. Whether you are fresh out of a breakup or just emerging from a period of hibernation, this restart is fueled by a desire for connection that actually means something.
Let’s be real: it’s vulnerable out there. The survey showed that loneliness (22%) and a longing for emotional safety (16%) are the top drivers pushing people back into dating.
In fact, nearly 60% of you said that your desire to date is rooted in a need for a secure, trustworthy connection rather than just excitement or physical touch. In 2026, the biggest green flag isn’t just chemistry: it’s safety. We are looking for people who can hold our hearts without dropping them.
Does it feel like everything reminds you of her? You’re in good company.
86% of sapphics admit that daily life is filled with reminders of past loves.
This data proves something we have always known: sapphic love lingers. “Moving on” doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning how to live inside your own routines again, even when the ghost of a relationship is sitting in the passenger seat.
If you are wondering if you should bring your new date to that queer book club, the answer is yes.
78% of you said it’s important that a partner is connected to the queer community. For 10%, it’s a total dealbreaker if they aren’t.
In our world, community isn’t just a social perk; it’s a signal of shared values and safety. We want partners who speak our language, know our history, and understand why we need these spaces.
Here is the growth we love to see: when the longing hits, we aren’t just spiraling. When “everything reminds you of her,” 37% of you choose a grounding action (like a walk or skincare) or make a plan that brings you joy. Only 14% reach out to text her.
This suggests a beautiful maturity in how we handle the “ache.” We are learning to sit with the feeling, process it, and choose ourselves first.
The biggest takeaway from the 2026 survey? There is no “right” time to restart. There is only your time. Whether you are easing back in, fully relaunching, or just here for the vibes, HER is built for your pace.
Download HER and start your restart today.
Chicago-based community manager, content writer, and professional cupid who’s still in her emo era. When she's not hosting HER virtual events, you’ll find her creating oddly specific playlists on Spotify and hitting up way too many concerts with her partner. Catch her where the music’s loud, the food is cheesy, and the eyeliner’s smudged just right!
