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10 Unique Ways to Come Out to Your Friends and Family

Robyn Exton

Oct 10, 2021

10 Unique Ways to Come Out to Your Friends and Family

Coming out is something all LGBTQ+ people have to go through at some point.

Sometimes it can be a difficult and emotional process – but it doesn’t always have to be that way.

There is no right or wrong way to come out of the closet. It’s about what’s doing what’s best for you and your situation.

But you can still be creative with it if you want to!

You will undoubtedly come out many times during your life – to co-workers, family members, friends, and sometimes strangers.

But for those really important people, you often only do it once.

For some people, it will be scary, and you may be frightened of being rejected. You might want to keep it simple and have a face-to-face conversation or phone call for those people.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have one or two people – perhaps a best friend or a sibling – who you know will accept you and support you no matter what.

So why not have some fun and make it memorable?

This may well be a story you tell on dates and at parties for years to come, so be creative and do it in a way that’s special to you.

For National Coming Out Day, we’ve compiled a few ideas of ways to come out to people. Use one of these, or come up with your own!

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Write a Letter

If there’s someone you’re particularly nervous about coming out to, writing a letter can be the perfect solution.

Many people get choked up or find it hard to articulate themselves under pressure, so writing a letter can give you the time to figure out exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it.

You can even write several drafts if you like.

This can also be a good option if there are people in your life who might take some time to process it.

You can mail the letter and ask the person to call you when they’re ready to talk about it. This puts the ball in their court, so they can take some time to process it if they need it.

Often, this means they will be able to articulate themselves better too and figure out what they want to say or do some research if they want to.

Bake a Cake (or Two!)

Who doesn’t like cake, right?

Your coming out is a celebration, and it deserves to be treated like one!

Depending on your baking skills, you can make a reveal cake where it’s plain on the outside and rainbow colors on the inside.

Forget gender reveal parties for unborn babies; you can reveal your gender to your family and friends at any age!

And it’s not a party without a cake.

Be creative!

Almost every identity has a flag, so make or decorate a cake in those colors. It can be a great teachable moment for your best friend or family member.

If you like expressing yourself with words, write them in icing on a cake or a series of muffins!

Rainbow Confetti Surprise

Have a coming out party!

Get some rainbow confetti, rainbow cake, rainbow streamers. Go wild and have a full rainbow bonanza!

Confetti is really cheap, and you can get it in most party stores or party sections of supermarkets. Or you can get it in party poppers to make it a bigger surprise.

Decorate your house and make it a real celebration!

You deserve it.

Print a T-Shirt

Dance Moms and TikTok star Jojo Siwa came out as a part of the LGBTQ+ community earlier this year, and she was pretty creative with it.

In a Tweet, she shared a photo of herself wearing a t-shirt that said: “Best Gay Cousin.

Take a leaf out of Jojo’s book and create your own coming out moment.

On Etsy or various sites online, you can create a personalized t-shirt that says whatever you want.

Come up with your own, or just keep it simple. If you wear a zip-up hoodie over the top, you can unzip it for a fun surprise coming out!

Make Yourself a “Queer” Award and Accept It

Coming out is hard; why not reward yourself with a literal award?

Get an old trophy – or you could even make an award yourself – and hold an awards ceremony with your family and friends!

You can add some build-up by giving other people pretend awards and then for the big finale, gracing yourself with a queer award and making an acceptance speech.

Plus, you’ll have a souvenir to remember the occasion!

Create Artwork

Some people don’t want to express themselves with words.

If you’re artistic, you could paint a picture, make a sculpture, or create a piece of art that expresses how you feel. This could be more serious or you can make it more silly and light. 

However you want to come out, art can be a great way to convey how you’re feeling.

You could base it on the rainbow flag, the transgender flag, the bisexual flag, or whichever flag best aligns with your identity.

Or come up with something personal to you and your journey.

Make a Fun Video

If you’re less artistically inclined, you could use video to come out.

This allows you to prepare in advance, and there’s no pressure on you to do anything on the day – except press play!

Be as creative as you like!

You could dance, sing, act, speak directly, or do something else fun.

If you have some friends or family members who you’ve already come out to, you could get them involved in the video too!

Throw a Pizza Party and Announce It on the Pizza Box

Coming out and getting pizza afterward?

That’s definitely a win-win situation!

Invite your friends and family members over and order some pizzas in advance.

In one of the pizza boxes, you can write your personal coming out message inside the lid, so when your best friend or family member opens it, they get a surprise with their pizza!

After all, everyone loves pizza.

Flash Mob

This one might take a little planning, but it’s definitely worth it!

If you’ve seen those adorable flash mob proposals, you’ll know that it’s dramatic, emotional, and fun!

Get all your friends together, learn a new dance, and come out with flair. 

There is no gayer way to come out than in a big, surprise group dance!

Pick your favorite song or a queer classic, and dance your way out of the closet.

Come Out to the Tune of I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston

If a flash mob takes too much time and preparation, you can just come out to the tune of your favorite queer classic.

For any karaoke lover or lip-sync assassin, a musical coming out is perfect.

Whitney’s ‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’ is a great tune, and expresses that LGBTQ+ people just want to love who they love and be who they are. 

Not a Whitney fan?

No problem! There’s plenty of queer hits you could choose.

‘I’m Coming Out‘ by Diana Ross, ‘Freedom’ by George Michael, or ‘Born This Way’ by Lady Gaga are all fantastic options!

HER is a Safe Space for Queers

Whenever and however you choose to come out, you can connect with people like you on HER.

It’s vital to have LGBTQ+ people around you who know what you’re going through and can support you through the process.

HER is free to use and can help you to connect with like-minded queer people wherever you are.

Whether you’re looking to date, hook up, settle down, or just meet people in the community, you can find it on HER.

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Robyn Exton

Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

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