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How to Respond to Biphobia

Robyn Exton

Sep 17, 2021

How to Respond to Biphobia
  • Dealing with Biphobia

    Unfortunately, biphobia is something most bisexual people will come across at some point.

    There are a few responses bisexual people know well: implying bisexuality isn’t real, that bisexuals are actually secretly gay or straight, or that bisexuals are greedy or promiscuous.

    Of course, all of these stereotypes aren’t based in reality, and while they may feel invalidating or hurtful when you first encounter them, it’s important not to take them to heart. 

    Your bisexuality is real and valid, and no one can take that away from you.

    • Learn more about bisexual dating and how to connect now with bi, queer and open-minded folks.

    “Does being bisexual mean you’re attracted to everyone?”

    There’s a common misconception that people attracted to multiple genders are attracted to every one of those genders. Clearly, this isn’t true. 

    Response: “Well, fortunately, I’m not attracted to you.”

    Often, people think that being bisexual means you’re attracted to them personally. Thankfully, that’s not the case.

    If someone throws one of these ignorant assumptions at you, feel free to hammer home the fact that you’re attracted to lots of people – but not them.

    “Are you just on your way to being gay?”

    Some people do come out as bisexual then come out as gay. But equally, some people come out as gay, then come out bisexual.

    It’s all just part of the journey of understanding who you are and who you’re into, and there’s no shame in that. 

    Response: “You’re on your way to being a homophobe.”

    Whether they recognize it or not, this is a biphobic question. It insinuates bisexuality isn’t real or valid and doesn’t respect people’s individual journeys.

    Call them out. They probably deserve it.

    “Does this mean you want to have a threesome?”

    Bisexuality has long been associated with promiscuity, but being bisexual doesn’t make someone promiscuous in the same way as being straight doesn’t make someone vanilla. 

    Response: “Not if you’re involved.”

    You shouldn’t dignify this kind of question with a serious answer.

    The best response is to shut them down and hopefully make them see how idiotic their assumption was in the first place.

    “Bisexuality is just a phase.”

    Obviously, bisexuality is not a phase. No sexuality is a phase.

    But whether you only come out once or 100 times in your life, you should be respected where you’re at.

    Response: “Hopefully, your bigotry is just a phase.”

    Bisexuality isn’t a choice; being a bigot or a biphobe is.

    Everyone’s gender identity and sexual orientation is valid, whether it’s static or changes over time.

    Celebrate Your Bisexuality!

    Bisexuality is valid, of course, but it’s also beautiful and deserves to be celebrated!

    When people are being ignorant and biphobic, try not to take it to heart.

    Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you for exactly who you are!

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    Robyn Exton

    Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

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