Honesty is the best policy
I came out at the age of 22, rather late in relation to a lot of people, but this was mainly down to me trying to find and establish myself. Of course there was a side of the dreaded ‘what if people hate me’ feeling that I’d heard in a few coming out horror stories and I was expecting the worst from my family, who I’ve always gotten on with so well. Being away at Uni helped me stand on my own two feet and aided me in establishing myself. So I packed up for Easter, headed home and sat my mum down to explain all.
I found myself back at uni with the feeling that the worst was over but deep down knowing she had not fully accepted things. A couple of weekends later, she came to visit; I remember it like it was yesterday. She turned to me with tears in her eyes and said “Since our talk, I’ve had time to digest it and you’re still the Vicky I know and love at that’s all that matters.”
I’m not the most ‘out’ person and that’s OK
I’m a very private person so the whole coming out on daily basis is not easy for me. However practice makes perfect, I prefer for people to get to me before I open up about my sexuality, after all, I’m Vicky who happens to be gay, not Gay Vicky. I only like to be Gay Vicky in an actual gay bar where anyone can see I’m a lesbian and therefore hopefully make the first move.
Personally, it’s of course better to be out than in but I like to be out in moderation; I dread the “what do you do in your spare time?” question at interviews as I don’t think ”starring aimlessly at women in the hope they may sleep with me” is the answer they are looking for. Yes, I’m proud of who I am, but everything in moderation.
That the pressure continues
I live for the banter in my professional and personal life, which my family have embraced to amazing levels. And it’s good to know that with their good humour and love, I still get the same pressures any straight child would get from their parents. After coming out to the whole family, the questions about grandchild and great children still pop up in conversations more than I’d like, especially considering I sometimes struggle to look after myself and my goldfish, Archie. Although I’m not likely to start popping out kids anytime soon, it’s good to know that they’re thinking of my happiness and my future.
Tell us what you’ve learned since you came out of the closet, email firstname.lastname@example.org
Vicky is a professional food designer and director ofFreedom World Ltd. She loves traveling, beer and banter (often all at the same time). Follow her on twitter for lots of Northern banter @FreedomWorldLtd.