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Jokes by lesbian comedians that are a little too relatable

Robyn Exton

Dec 22, 2022

Jokes by lesbian comedians that are a little too relatable

Comedy as an industry has been a little rough on LGBTQA+ people. Unfortunately, we were the butt of the joke for many years, from mocking trans people and their identities to stereotyping lesbians, who have had a fair share of awkward “funny comments” involving inaccurate aspects of their sex lives, narrated mostly by cis straight men who seemed never to have interacted with a woman before in their lives.

We’re glad to say that over the years, though, the community has carved a space in this fraction of the entertainment industry, making the funniest content of this generation.

From Lily Tomlin to Kate McKinnon, the world of comedy has met so many talented lesbian writers, actresses, and stand-up professionals, who make bits and skits about their own experiences as gay women in hilarious, endearing, and authentic ways.

So, if you’d like to crack a laugh, either the one that makes you push a little air out of your nose in silence or until your belly hurts, here are 8 quotes from lesbian comedians that you might relate to.

Fortune Feimster’s subtle but sweet innuendo

I knew pretty early on that Jax was the one.
So I called my friend and she said
“Oh, you’ve gotta go to Big Sur” – and no, that was not my nickname in high school.

When talking about proposing to her wife, Fortune made this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it type of dirty joke, but we definitely didn’t because we have to take matters seriously when we talk about the Great South.


Ellen Degeneres and her pussies

I said “I gotta get going, I gotta get home to feed my cats.”
And she said “oh, how many cats do you have?”
And I said “three”
And she goes “oh, you ARE a lesbian!”

Ellen is a pioneer in the comedy world, she was THE lesbian comedian for a long time, and thanks to her, so many women are on this list today.

Out of all her jokes about her gayness, we like this one because it is a classic. Lesbians do love cats, and for some reason, those little independent yet clingy creatures are the best. What’s funny about this bit is that she focuses on the specificity of the number three, and recalls that if she had two, it wouldn’t have made that much sense to be called a lesbian.


Home Decor tips from Punki Johnson

“Everybody lovin’ women in this house” is gonna be on my wallpaper.
“Everybody lovin’ women in this house” is gonna be on my welcome mat.
My doorbell is gonna ring “Everybody lovin’ women in this house”!

What would happen if, as a lesbian, your daughter came out to you as straight? Punki reflects on this scenario claiming that her home is going to be a gay household exclusively, and indeed, everybody will be lovin’ women.


Jane Lynch certainly knows how to introduce someone

A lot of people are very curious as to why I’m a lesbian—ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage!

Have you ever looked at a man and said “yup, I’m gay”? Jane Lynch describes this feeling perfectly by calling Adrian Grenier and company to the stage of the Emmy Prime Time Awards.

It’s really nothing personal about them or their looks, but it’s nice to have a little check-in and confirm that the attraction just isn’t there. So thanks, Jane, for referencing this common and validating lesbian experience.


Be multidimensional like Sue Perkins

Being a lesbian is only about the 47th most interesting thing about me.

That’s easy to say for the host of The Great British Bake-Off! But in all seriousness, lesbians are more than just their sexuality. Is it nice talking about it? Of course, but that doesn’t mean that that’s the defining trait people should focus on.

Anyways, are we going to make a list of 46 interesting things about us after this? Probably.


Irene Tu’s oddly successful coming-out story

I didn’t come out to my mom until I was 19, ‘cause I thought she wasn’t gonna be cool with it, you know?
And finally I was like alright, I’m gonna tell her, and I go
“Mom, I’m gay.”
And she just goes
“I know, look at your hair.”
And that was it.
That was the entire conversation.

Isn’t this like the best-case scenario? Maybe a little more emotion wouldn’t hurt, but it’s nice to know Irene’s mom is so observant, yet kept waiting for her time to be ready.

And to be fair, lesbians do have great, creative haircuts, so we can’t really blame her or her gaydar.


Parenting hacks by Jessica Kirson

We have a child.
We got her at Home Depot.

Ah, Heaven, or as non-lesbians know it, Home Depot. Would the baby adoption aisle be located near the pretty lamps or outside with the plants? Asking the real questions here.

A well-delivered joke about this store is always appreciated. It has been done many times, but not like this, so we applaud Jessica for switching it up in a concisely funny way.


Cameron Esposito and her secret to attracting women

Here’s the thing, you guys. I didn’t choose my sexuality…
But I did choose this outfit.

Self-expression is everything, and Cameron Esposito knows it. How can you get the attention of a pretty lady if you can’t wear an obvious sign on your forehead that says “Hi, I’m gay!” Well, the solution is quite simple: clothing.

A lesbian outfit is hard to describe because it also comes with a vibe, and an attitude, you have got to get submerged and rock your favorite look with confidence, and maybe wear a little enamel pin with a pride flag on your pleather jacket, just in case.


Marga Gomez channelling the Gen X Lesbian struggle

Yeah, sure. We watch ‘The L Word.’ We support it but we like to yell at it, you know?
Especially when it’s not on DVD, you have no TiVo,
and you can’t fast-forward through Jenny.

The widely-known TV show about the lives of lesbian and bisexual women has awaken strong opinions in the community throught the decades, including comedy and theatre legend Marga Gomez, who has a bit talking about the absurdity of some of its plot points and her dislike about the main antagonist, Jenny Schecter.

Now with a new generation of queer women making odd life choices, The L Word remains an iconic classic of lesbian history.


KeLanna Spiller can’t cut to the chase

I’m low-key jealous of straight couples because y’all can go from foreplay to sex like ‘that’ with no problem. Smooth transition. […]
But lesbians, we can’t do that, we can’t have a smooth transition. We gotta suit up!

Hey, the whole ‘strap-on’ process might be longer that one might like, but KeLanna reassures it’s worth the wait.

After all, suiting up is what superheroes do, and being a hero in bed sounds like a win-win situation. 


The lesbian experience is so unique, and these comedians have the talent to reflect it with impeccable comedic timing in every single joke. We recommend you look up their specials for an extra dose of laughter in your day, and encourage you to keep supporting the talented entertainers in our community.

Join our safe community 🌈 ✨ 

Whether you are a stem lesbian or just hoping to meet new people, HER is a queer dating app that can help introduce you to many different open-minded people. It’s safer (and more fun) than your run-of-the-mill lesbian chat room, so don’t be afraid to check us out! We’re all about helping you foster the relationships you’re after. 

Robyn Exton

Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

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