Lesbian speed dating events: Where to meet tonight

Looking for lesbian speed dating events you can hit up tonight? You’ve come to the right place. As the insider guide for queer women, nonbinary, and trans folks (we say, most humbly), we keep tabs on all the “lesbian speed dating near me listings”, queer singles events, and sapphic-only dating mixers that actually feel good to attend. 

If you’re over all the endless swiping, you’re far from alone. Event organizers and reporters say that the combination of fake profiles and swipe fatigue is pushing queer women back to IRL, community-first dating spaces. From pub-table speed rounds to wild-swimming meet-cutes and low-pressure speed-friending circles (see this HuffPost feature on the resurgence of offline lesbian spaces), we’ll show you what to expect, where to look right now, and how to make it count tonight.

What is lesbian speed dating, and how does it work?

At lesbian speed dating, you’ll usually have several mini-dates with new people, each lasting two to eight minutes. After each round, you discreetly note if you’d like to reconnect. Matches are shared privately after the event. These nights welcome mostly queer women, nonbinary, and trans folks seeking quick connection (whether that’s romance, one-on-one dates, or just good vibes) without all of the pressure of a full-length first date.

Organizers commonly use pronoun name tags, fun and gentle guidance through the event, and playful prompts (think green/yellow/red flag questions) to make the room feel inclusive and easy to navigate. Facilitators typically rotate participants around the room so everyone meets everyone, a structure that helps shy people warm up and helps them make the first move, according to attendee advice and organizer write-ups on how lesbian speed dating flows.

Here’s how a typical night works:

• Check-in: Get your name/pronouns badge and a scorecard.
• Briefing: Host shares ground rules and timing (2–8 minute rounds).
• Rounds: Rotate through quick chats with new people.
• Notes: After each convo, mark interest privately.
• Breaks: Short pauses to reset, sip water, breathe.
• Wrap: Hand in your card; matches arrive later via email or app.

(For a friendly walkthrough of making the first move and easing nerves, see this community guide to lesbian speed dating on Substack.)

Types of lesbian speed dating events you can find tonight

Same-day options tend to fall into three buckets: bar-based speed-dating or mixers, curated experience events like hikes, swims, creative workshops, and low-pressure speed-friending formats. Research and organizers want to note all three styles are growing as queer women lean into IRL connection over pure bar culture or apps (covered in HuffPost’s reporting on community-first lesbian spaces).

Bar-based speed dating and mixers

This is the classic: a pub or bar night with tickets in advance, 2–8 minute rounds, nametags, sometimes a drag host or DJ to keep the energy up. You’ll likely get a scorecard, rotate clockwise through brief chats, and receive match emails after. A real-world example is Hot To Go in Columbus. It’s a recurring 21+ sapphic speed dating night with music, nametags, and curated matchmaking in an intimate setting, often with limited VIP tickets (see Midwestern Lesbian’s event listing for a flavor of the format). Many date nights post clear inclusion policies and run promotions on Eventbrite, Meetup, or Instagram. Make sure that you’re choosing events that are supportive of the connections that you’re trying to make.

Experience-driven events and festivals

Activity-led connection is having a moment. Instead of strict rotations of small talk, you meet through shared experiences like swimming, hiking, live music, or creative crafting workshops. Expect daytime or weekend formats, no stickers for singles, and more organic, unforced conversations. The UK’s Out & Wild festival is a standout for queer women and nonbinary folks; one couple reportedly met there in 2023 and got engaged the next year, illustrating how community-first spaces spark lasting bonds (covered in HuffPost’s deep dive into offline lesbian events).

Bar-based vs. experience-driven: What’s your vibe?

Feature	Bar-based mixers	Experience-driven events
Atmosphere	Nightlife, buzzy	Outdoors/creative, relaxed
Structure	Timed rotations	Looser flow, group activities
Best for	Quick chemistry checks, flirty energy	Organic connection, shared interests
Pros	Lots of meets in one night	Less pressure, deeper convos
Watch-outs	Can feel fast-paced	Fewer “official” matches

Speed-friending and low-pressure formats

Speed-friending offers the rotation without the “it’s a date” label. Think short chats, no pressure to swap numbers, and an emphasis on widening your circle and just meeting some awesome new sapphic people. It’s great for introverts, newcomers to a city, or anyone who’s unsure what exactly they’re after tonight. These events often lean pronoun-inclusive nametags, structured moderation, and playful prompts to keep things safe, warm, and accessible, which is exactly the community-first vibe many queer women say they want now (highlighted in reporting on offline lesbian social spaces).

Where to find lesbian speed dating events tonight

Need something tonight? Say no more!  You’ll need to act fast- listings move quickly, waitlists open last-minute, and pop-ups drop the day of. Start with the big platforms (like Eventbrite & Meetup), add in community outlets, then sweep social media (we recommend Instagram and TikTok for this one) for pop-ups. Also check HER’s IRL event listings in the app and chat groups for handpicked listings and queer-owned nights curated for our community.

How to do a real-time search right now:

• Search Eventbrite and Meetup with keywords: “lesbian,” “queer,” “WLW,” “sapphic,” “speed dating,” “mixer.”
• Toggle your city radius and “Today/This weekend.”
• Check HER’s events hub for curated queer listings and ticket links.
• Scan Instagram/TikTok hashtags for day-of posts; DM organizers for last-minute spots.
• Join local queer group chats: cancellations often free up tickets an hour or so before doors open

Mainstream platforms and apps

Here’s the major events pages at a glance to help you figure out which works best for you.

• Eventbrite: Broad coverage; try city + “lesbian speed dating” or “queer mixer.” Example: lesbian parties and speed dating nights frequently list there.
• Meetup: Local LGBTQ+ singles events and women-centered mixers are common, even in smaller cities.
• Pre-Dating: Runs in-person and virtual speed dating across many US cities; good for quick bookings.

Pro tip: On apps like HER, follow our community forums and turn on notifications for IRL drops and last-minute ticket releases. (Explore HER’s curated event picks here.)

Community outlets and queer press listings

Niche newsletters and sapphic press often list smaller, safer, and more intentional nights. And it’s a secret we’re sharing with you here that sometimes those listings aren’t even listed on the big platforms at all. Regional roundups like Midwestern Lesbian or Sapphic LA’s event pages, LGBTQ+ center bulletins, and queer community calendars (if you’re in NYC, be sure to check out Dykes and Dolls) surface events that are both intimate and quick to pop up, but that make sure you’re spending your time with people who are inclusive and who “get” you.

Social media and pop-up event channels

Instagram Reels, queer TikTok, and city-specific Substacks regularly surface underground, niche, and immediate listings. Search tags like #sapphicnightnyc, #wlwla, or #queersinglessf, and follow local venues and promoters. Even a single Reel can unlock a chain of related events through comments and tagged partners. The more you interact with events accounts and sapphic accounts on your socials, the more the algorithm will feed you so you’ll be able to find them more easily the next time you tap in.

Safety, inclusion, and women-only space considerations

Safety and inclusion are crucial conversations in our community, including public debates over who these events are for and how to uphold safer, affirming rooms. Some coverage has amplified controversies around “women-only” definitions and gatekeeping at lesbian speed dating nights, which can create confusion for attendees weighing where they’ll feel most welcome and safe. If you’re trans, nonbinary, or questioning, it’s totally okay, and incredibly wise, to check policies in advance. If a space doesn’t list that it’s inclusive right off the bat, it’s not the vibe.

A women-only event is a gathering where only those who identify as women are permitted, often aiming to foster safety and solidarity among participants. Organizers may unfortunately have differing policies on whether trans women or nonbinary folks are included.

Checking event policies and organizer credentials

Before you buy:

• Read “who’s welcome” and pronoun policies.
• Look for a code of conduct, moderation plan, and clear refund/ID info.
• Check the organizer’s About page, socials, and previous reviews.
• When in doubt, DM the host with your questions; good organizers answer fast.

Focus on established community groups with a track record of queer-centered, inclusive events.

Tips for getting the most out of lesbian speed dating events

Choosing the right type of event for you

Map your mood to your night:

If you want…	Go to…
Fast chemistry checks and flirty energy	Bar-based speed dating/mixers
Organic convos via shared interests	Experience-driven event/festival
Low-pressure hangs and new friends	Speed-friending/low-pressure format
A softer landing if you’re introverted	Experience-driven or speed-friending

Trying a mix over a few weeks often expands your circle and your luck.

Preparing to make connections and follow up

• Bring 2–3 openers: “What’s your sapphic green flag?” “What’s your Sunday vibe?”
• Body language: be open and relax, make kind eye contact, and remember to breathe between rounds.
• Boundaries: know your own personal yes/no answers on sharing numbers or socials.
• Brave ask: if it clicks, ask for their number: fortune favors the bold (and we’re rooting for you!)
• Remember: many events send matches after, so the pressure isn’t all on you tonight.

What to wear and how to show up confidently

• Dress to feel like you: comfy, confident, and event-appropriate (sneakers for hikes, layers for patios- don’t be the one trying to do a yoga class in heels).
• Good etiquette beats a perfect outfit: arrive on time, stay for all rounds, and bring kindness to every chat.
• Be the vibe: remember that you’re there to have fun and meet people, and so are they. There’s comfort in that connection.

Frequently asked questions

Where are lesbian speed dating events held tonight?

Most events run on set nights or weekends, but you can often find pop-ups or last-minute openings by searching Eventbrite, Meetup, and local queer community pages for your city.

How long do the speed dating rounds usually last?

Rounds typically run 2–8 minutes, letting you meet several new people in one session.

Who can attend these events?

Usually, these are open to lesbians, bisexual and queer women, nonbinary, and trans people. Always double-check each organizer’s inclusion policy to be sure.

How do I get tickets, and what’s included?

Tickets are commonly sold via Eventbrite or similar platforms; your spot usually includes structured rounds, moderation, and sometimes a drink or snacks.

What should I expect when attending my first lesbian speed dating event?

Expect quick conversations in a relaxed, hosted setting with clear guidance, low-pressure matching, and lots of chances to connect.

Resources for Lesbian Speed Dating Events

Lesbian Spaces: Queer Women Are Flocking To Community-First, Offline Dating Events

Lesbian Speed Dating: Making the First Move (So You Don’t Get Weird About It)

Hot To Go: Sapphic Speed Dating Event

Lesbian Parties Events in Columbus, OH

Singles Events in Murfreesboro, TN

Columbus Speed Dating

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