Select your language

Search
English
Download HER

Masturbation May 2023 HER Pride & Pleasure Survey

May 10, 2023

Masturbation May 2023 HER Pride & Pleasure Survey
  • It’s Masturbation May, and the queer community is here to turn up the heat! The first National Masturbation Day was celebrated on May 7, 1995, when sex-positive retailer Good Vibrations honored Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. Elders, a trailblazer for sexual education, was controversially fired by President Bill Clinton in 1994 for daring to suggest that masturbation be included in sex education curricula. And why not? It has plenty of health benefits.

    Since then, this titillating day has evolved into an entire month of celebration, with sex educators, media outlets, and yes, even dating apps like ours joining the party. Masturbation May is a time to embrace radical self-love, champion sexual exploration, and toast to the queer community’s unapologetic pursuit of pleasure. So let’s kick off this month with a bang (or a buzz) and honor the fearless pioneers who’ve dared to challenge societal norms and make self-pleasure a cause for celebration. Check out what HER users said about their solo time!



    Queers are self-pleasure superheroes, raising the global masturbation bar:

    Hold on to your vibrators, folks! Our survey shows that an impressive 97% of HER queers masturbate, a figure that soars above the 84% global rate reported in Tenga’s 2019 Self-Pleasure Report. Queers are boldly blazing a path towards greater self-love and acceptance.

    Gen Z could use a helping hand

    If sex & self-pleasure can’t help this generation relax, maybe fighting climate change will. 

    While queers as a whole are passionate about self-pleasure, our survey uncovered that GenZ (18-24 age group) masturbate less often, reflecting Lovehoney’s 2022 “Post-Roe” survey results that dubbed them the least sexually active generation. It’s time to empower GenZ to explore their desires and redefine their self-love journey.

    As queer trailblazers, GenZ could channel their energy and use self-pleasure as a form of self-care and empowerment in the fight against climate change and other global issues. After all, a sexually liberated generation is more likely to challenge norms and create transformative change. So let’s encourage GenZ to indulge in some self-love and see how it sparks their inner fire for making the world a better place.

    Variety is the spice of queer masturbation

    Queers are unapologetic in embracing diverse masturbation habits, with 77% participating at least once a week and 14% daily. They’re not afraid to mix it up when it comes to location (bed and shower are favorites), fantasies (56.4% think about someone they know), and tools (70% use sex toys).

    Bold & innovative sex toy use:

    Our survey unveiled that queers are fearless in exploring the world of sex toys. A staggering 81.4% use vibrators, 43.7% dildos, 32.9% suction toys, 17.8% anal toys, and 14.7% showerheads. These figures highlight the creativity and openness of the queer community in their quest for self-pleasure.

    Solo play as a catalyst for connection & intimacy

    Queers are revolutionizing the concept of solo play by blurring the lines between self-exploration and shared experiences. Our survey discovered that 71% of queers boldly discuss masturbation with their partners, while 65% take it a step further and engage in mutual self-pleasure.

    This provocative approach to intimacy is a testament to the queer community’s commitment to breaking barriers, fostering open communication, and celebrating vulnerability. By reclaiming and redefining solo play as a collective experience, queers are shattering taboos and paving the way for deeper connections, greater understanding, and unapologetic empowerment within their relationships.



    The queer community’s commitment to self-pleasure not only showcases their passion for exploration and intimacy but also highlights the importance of self-love and acceptance. By boldly embracing their desires, queers are challenging societal norms and paving the way for a more inclusive and liberated future.

    Masturbation May is a celebration of self-love, and the queer community is leading the charge with audacity and innovation. Our survey results demonstrate the power and potential of self-pleasure, and we hope they inspire you to join the self-love revolution, regardless of your sexual orientation or identity.

    The stats behind the story

    The HER Pride & Pleasure Survey

    Sample size: we had 4094 participants. HER app users are FLINTA (female, intersex, nonbinary, trans, ace/aro)

    • Frequency: 77% of queers masturbate at least 1x a week, while 14% does it at least once a day
    • Location: Bed and shower are the most popular places
    • Spank Bank Inspiration: 
      • Porn – 82% of queers watch porn occasionally when masturbating
        • With GenZ taking the lead, GenX coming in second and Millenials coming in last 
      • Queers are thinking about “someone they know” a lot more than their partner when they masturbate
        • 56.4% are thinking about someone they know
        • 35.4% are thinking about an imaginary person
        • 30.3% are thinking about their partner
        • 18.4% are thinking about their ex
    • How: 70% of queers are using sex toys
      • 81.4% are using vibrators
      • 43.7% are using dildos
      • 32.9% are using a suction toy
      • 17.8 % are using an anal toy
      • 14.7% are using a shower head 
    • Solo Play Does Not Always Mean Alone:  71% of queers said that they discussed masturbation with their partner(s) and 65% said they masturbate with their partners.

    The wider masturbatory landscape:

    • TENGA’s Global Self-Pleasure Report (2020): TENGA’s annual report provides an international perspective on masturbation habits and attitudes. The 2020 edition found that 66% of people believe society would be healthier if people were more open about their masturbation experiences.
    • Planned Parenthood’s Masturbation Survey (2018): Planned Parenthood conducted a survey in 2018, which revealed that 62% of women and 84% of men between the ages of 18 and 24 had masturbated within the past year. These figures highlight the ongoing gender gap in self-pleasure practices and the importance of promoting sexual exploration for all individuals, regardless of gender.
    • The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB): This comprehensive, ongoing study of American sexual behavior has collected data from thousands of participants since 2010. One of the key findings from the NSSHB is that the frequency of masturbation increases with age among women, while it tends to decrease among men. This is an interesting aspect to explore, considering the unique masturbation habits within the queer community.
    • The Big O Survey (2019): Conducted by sex toy retailer Lovehoney, the Big O Survey found that 89% of respondents believed that masturbation has a positive impact on their mental health. This statistic underscores the importance of self-pleasure in promoting overall well-being and fostering a healthier relationship with one’s body and desires.

    We hope you enjoyed this deep dive (lol) into how our community partakes in self love! 

    Evie keeps queer journalists updated about everything going on at HER. Reach out if you're doing a story on HER, Robyn, or FLINTA dating.

    Newsletter Sign Up


      Content