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Autosexuality: Taking self-love to a whole new level

Robyn Exton

May 10, 2023

Autosexuality: Taking self-love to a whole new level

Autosexuality is a relatively new term that refers to a phenomenon that people have been experiencing since the dawn of time.

At its core, autosexuality means feeling more sexual attraction toward yourself than others and typically preferring some good ol’ solo play to sex with a partner. 

Standard definitions aside, though, like the other letters in the alphabet soup, there are many different fonts and shapes to be autosexual. 

So, let’s explore some misconceptions about autosexuality, whether there are celebrities that relate to or self-identify with the term and its pride flag.

Source: Instagram 

Myths and misconceptions about autosexuality

We’re here to answer some of the most common and some of the internet’s most unhinged questions about autosexuality. Ready to get into it? 

Are autosexuals attracted to cars?

Ha-ha-ha… but no, not at all. We can’t help it if some people say this as a joke because, after all, there are a lot of people who love — like really love — their cars. 

But autosexuality should also be taken seriously as an actual sexual identity in which someone feels sexual attraction to themself.

What is the difference between autosexuality, autoromanticism, and autoeroticism?

While all three do have the same prefix, they have entirely different definitions. So let’s break down the nuances and get learning. 

  • Autosexuality: People who are more sexually attracted to themselves sexually, than others. They may prefer masturbation over sex with a partner(s).
  • Autoromanticism: People who are romantically attracted to themselves but still feel sexual attraction toward others.
  • Autoeroticism: Refers to getting turned on at the thought of sexually pleasing yourself or fantasizing about your body. 

According to clinical psychologist Jaime Gayle, “Autosexuality is a natural and healthy expression and aspect of erotic desire. It should not be confused with autoromanticism, although they may both be ways people identify simultaneously. Autoromanticism, in contrast, refers to the notion of a person being romantically drawn to oneself (regardless of sexual attraction).”

Are autosexuals also asexual?

There can definitely be a link between autosexuality and asexuality! Autosexuality can be particularly powerful to reclaim when you know you also don’t experience sexual attraction to others.

However, many people who aren’t asexual can still have autosexual leanings. Because it’s such a novel term, there are no hard and fast rules to being autosexual. 

Can someone be both autosexual and attracted to others?

Yes, it is possible for a person to be autosexual and also experience attraction to others. 

 Autosexuality is just one aspect of a person’s sexuality and is not mutually exclusive with other forms of attraction. If you don’t experience sexual attraction to others, know that it’s perfectly normal and that you deserve support and love no matter what. 

Is autosexuality a disorder or a mental illness?

No, autosexuality is not a disorder or mental illness. It is not even a clinical term, but it is a valid and important aspect of a person’s sexuality and should be recognized and respected.

Remember, sexuality is nuanced! We all have a right to explore and express our desires and identities however they feel right to us.

Where does the term “autosexual” come from?

Well, like many other words in the English language, the prefix “auto” comes from the Greek root that means “self.” 

It’s believed that the term began to gain traction around 2016-17 when publications began publishing articles and academic papers exploring autosexuality. 

That being said, it’s been around since the late 1990s!

How do I know if I am autosexual?

Only you can truly know and understand your own sexuality. If you feel that you experience sexual attraction to yourself or do not require the involvement of another person to experience sexual pleasure, you may identify as autosexual.

Is there a community or support group for autosexuals?

You can find online spaces where people talk about their experiences as autosexuals, from Reddit to Tumblr. Many LGBTQIA+ organizations and resources promote inclusivity and acceptance of all sexual identities, like the HER app. If you identify as autosexual, asexual, or otherwise, know that HER has a safe community spaces for you.

If I’m autosexual, am I selfish?

Autosexuality is neither a form of narcissism nor selfishness.  It’s just an aspect of a person’s sexuality, something that many people already experience. 

Lindsay Fram, a sexual wellness educator says, “if and when we are taught about arousal, it is almost always framed in the context of a reaction to something outside of ourselves — a reaction to another person, pornography, or erotica… We are never taught that being turned on by our own bodies is, in fact, incredibly normal, or that some people experience it to greater degrees than others.” 

The autosexual flag and what each color represents

Autosexuality brings self-love to a whole new level, and its pride flag reflects that. 

There are a few renditions of the autosexual pride flag, but most have the same color scheme: blue, black, and gray. The black and gray reflect autosexuality’s relationship with asexuality, while the blue reflects self-love.

Source: MiraHaze

So, are you autosexual? Like anything else, you should take your time figuring out your relationship with your sexuality. 

You could be autosexual and asexual, bisexual, or gay, which is perfectly okay. You deserve to navigate your sexuality with confidence, self-love, and acceptance! 

At HER, we encourage understanding and embracing the diverse range of sexual identities that exist; we can create a more inclusive and supportive world for all. 

Remember, it is okay to be exactly who you are and feel proud of your unique sexuality.

Robyn Exton

Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

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