Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Sep 01, 2023
The LGBT+ community has proven itself to be a linguistically creative group of people. That’s probably why there are so many neo-pronouns and labels to describe sexuality and gender identity. One such creative label is stargender, a non-binary identity that expresses one’s alignment with the stars. As abstract as it can be, it’s also liberating for a lot of people who identify with it!
It was only a matter of time until space and astronomy made its way into the way the LGBT+ community conceptualizes gender identity. Space is, after all, really freaking awesome. So let’s get our spacesuits and jump into the universe of stargender, its pronouns, flag, and artwork from people within that community.
Many people on the internet say that stargender, a non-binary celestial gender identity, can often be tied to neurodivergence.
It’s true that people with neurodivergence, particularly those with autism and ADHD, often have really particular interests. Space being one of those interests would be no surprise!
Not only that, neurodivergence often views the world in ways that neurotypical people don’t – after all, the term “neurodivergence” implies divergence from the neurotypical.
This is a very simplistic explanation, and there is much more to it than having particular interests. Either way, this can potentially lead people to look outside of the box – or, shall we say, outside of Earth – to find something that more closely aligns with their lived gender experience. Enter stargender: the gender of the stars.
Stargender can be considered a xenogender, which is a gender identity that not only exists outside of the man-woman binary, but also outside general human conceptualizations of gender. Xenogenders are usually associated with identifying with animals, nature, and – naturally – space!
So if you’re wondering what’s the difference between xenogender and stargender, think about it this way. All stargender people are xenogender, but not all xenogender people are stargender!
On the other hand, non-binary means not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth, and neither identifying with man or woman as genders (the expected binary.) Non-binary is also part of the trans umbrella.
A lot of people ask what’s the deal with all these genders anyway? We’ve got non-binary, genderqueer, and others, why do we need others?
But really, that’s just the beauty of language and how it can be used to describe that variety of different ways a human can experience gender.
The point is, gender is literally this made up thing in our society, so why not make more conceptualizations of it, too? But this time, let’s make it fun and celestial!
Not to mention, it’s just cool to have space be a core part of your identity. For sexualities – which is different from gender – we already have neptunic, why not have some space-oriented genders, too?
We should be open minded about people wanting to explore their lived experiences, and if it’s in a celestial way, so be it.
You might have guessed that for stargender people, neopronouns are probably really popular. You’d be right!
Stargender people can use a variety of different pronouns, and they may or may not have any association with outer space.
Here are some common celestial-themed neopronouns you can try out:
Do any of those ring true to you? Remember you can always try them out and if you don’t like them, you can try something else. You could use common pronouns like he/she/her, he/him/his, they/them/theirs, or the variety of other neopronouns out there!
The stargender flag represents what it means to be a stargender person. It’s unclear where this original design comes from. It shows five horizontal stripes, the top and bottom ones being blue, two more stripes have a lighter blue tint, and the center stripe is white. Superimposed on the center of the flag is a dark blue five-point star, showing celestial pride for stargender people.
Source: LGBTIQA+ Wiki
Navigating in a world that assumes a binary gender all the time is exhausting, how nice would it be if you could just fly through life like a star, unbothered for millennia? That’s what this alternate stargender flag, showing a shooting star leaving streaks of blue behind it, means to me! This design was made by LGBTQIA+ Wiki user C0sm0r4y and it encapsulates the stargender concept perfectly!
Source: Redbubble
This piece was designed by Oceanic Scribble on Red Bubble, and it shows a blue and purple dragon wrapping itself around crystals of varying blue shapes. It turns out that stargender doesn’t even have to stay limited to space, it can also bring elements of fantasy into the picture: like a dragon!
Source: GenshinFlags on Twitter
If you’re a fan of Genshin Impact, then you’ll like this one. This fanart shows the character Euly in stargender colors, designed by @genshinflags on Twitter. That’s one of the most fun things about being in the LGBT+ community: you love a fictional character? They’re queer now if you say so! Who makes the rules, anyway?
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When you go out into the world today, understand that while so much of the world is built in this binary way, there are people out there who have experiences that are so outside of your own! Supporting someone who is stargender doesn’t just mean accepting who they are, but also accepting how they view the world. This goes extra for neurodivergent people. We can’t force a viewpoint onto others when it comes to neurodivergence, but we can accept and love regardless.
If you’re stargender yourself, know that there are people out there who really understand the vast, complex, and potentially infinite ways of how awesome you are, much like the universe and the stars. Find your people on the HER app!
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
