Tea with Auntie: Make the Move

Welcome back to HER’s new advice segment, Tea with Auntie. This is the space to come and spill all the tea in your life (openly or anonymously) and receive advice from our resident Auntie and the Community. This will happen twice a month, so if you need advice send your questions here

Anonymous (36): I’ve never dated anyone (both men and women), but I know I am a lesbian and always have been. I try to find women online, and I ask them to meet but most of the time I just get ghosted. We can have chat for months but when I ask to meet I always get maybe or they make plans and then cancel. What am I doing wrong?

Auntie: *Longest sip* First of all, your identity is not defined by who you have and have not dated – you own that all on your own! And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Second of all, why are your chats lasting for months before asking to meet? At that rate, you’ve already gone on dates, U-Hauled and adopted a cat with all the time you’ve spent talking. My advice: Take! Action! Sooner! This is the problem with LGBTQ+ womxn, we spend all this time talking (or not talking, lezbihonest) rather than making moves. As well, is your only avenue meeting womxn online? Yes, I am writing this for an app, but HER also throws events so no shade saying get out more. Take a few minutes to check out what is happening in your community. Google, Facebook, the events section of the app and take that leap to put yourself out there. Because clearly, hiding behind your phone ain’t doing it. Again, that’s just me, HER Community Members what is your take on this? Comment below.