Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
Select your language
Select your language
May 25, 2023
Lots of things change over a lifetime: your body, your mindset, your wisdom – sometimes, your sexuality! We don’t just mean thinking you’re straight for the longest time and then realizing you’re queer.
Beyond that, there’s actually a sexuality that encapsulates the experience of shifting sexual orientation throughout your life: one day, you’re pansexual, the next, you’re asexual; and the following year you’re gay. It’s okay! And it’s called abrosexuality.
Abrosexuality and abroromanticism are terms that refer to fluidity in attraction over time. Whether you’re questioning yourself or you want to learn more about a dear abrosexual or abroromantic in your life, we at HER are committed to making you feel welcome in our community. So read on to learn more about this underrepresented orientation.
Source: LGBT Teen Youth on Tumblr
The etymology of abrosexual interestingly fits the term: it comes from the Ancient Greek habrós, which means “delicate.”
Does that mean that abrosexuals — or abros, for short — are delicate? Not necessarily! It just reflects the fluidity of sexuality: a malleable, abstract, and flexible thing that abros (like the rest of us) can’t control. These changes may occur gradually or suddenly, and the frequency and intensity of the shifts can vary from person to person.
Abrosexuality gained popularity online, so it’s difficult to pinpoint its exact origins, but it’s often credited with being coined on Tumblr. The same goes for the abrosexual pride flags. The most popular abro pride flag has five horizontal stripes of white and varying green and pink colors, and its origin is largely unknown.
There are many different abrosexual flag designs to show your abro pride. These pride flags’ colors, stripes, and symbols represent fluidity, gender, and sexual attraction.
Source: Unknown
Source: RoseWatera on FANDOM
Source: Addyroodle on FANDOM
There’s a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. Sexuality refers to who you feel sexually attracted to, while romantic attraction refers to who you feel romantically attracted to.
So, you can be abroromantic and pansexual, for example. This means that you feel sexual attraction to people regardless of gender, while your romantic attraction could vary weekly.
If you’re abroromantic, there’s a pride flag for that too!
Source: Pride-Flags / DeviantArt
Abrosexuals can be pansexual one day, but the following month, week, or year shift to bisexuality. But if you identify as pansexual – as in, you feel attraction to people regardless of gender — and feel like that’s not changing anytime soon, you may not be abrosexual.
You shouldn’t feel any pressure or rush to label yourself if it doesn’t feel right. But if you identify as abrosexual, know it’s as valid as any other identity.
Source: ChristeenDraws / Deviantart
Abrosexuality is sometimes considered a subset of asexuality due to the nature of varying levels of sexual attraction. Asexuality, on the other hand, refers to the lack of sexual attraction. There’s a spectrum of asexuality that includes experiences of feeling demisexual, for example.
The main difference between asexuality and abrosexuality is rigidity: abrosexuals can be asexual one week and demisexual the next. Asexuals, on the other hand, don’t change levels of attraction over time… at least in theory!
Source: Unknown
Like the above comparisons, abrosexuals can experience asexuality and change the following day to bisexuality and pansexuality the following week. But should you choose the label bisexual, it means that you have the capacity for attraction to more than one gender at any given time.
We’ve seen the question floating around: “Is it okay if I go by bisexual even if I think I’m abrosexual?” If you’re questioning if you’re abrosexual, and it feels like there’s pressure to “find the right label,” it’s okay! You’re not alone. Remember, you have all the time to find what works best for you and your personal experiences! Changing things as often as you like or need to is okay. Your gender and sexuality are yours to own — nobody should ever get to define you except for you.
This Reddit thread put it perfectly. One Reddit user asked: “Can I still experience being abrosexual without identifying as it?”
Another Reddit user responded: “Of course, labels don’t control your experience.”
Abrosexual or not, you can learn an essential lesson in this journey of discovery. Similar to abrosexuality, just go with the flow!
If you want a helpful nudge to determine if abrosexual is the “right” label for you, we can give you some questions to ask yourself as a jumping pad. But, ultimately, only you can decide if you’re abrosexual.
These questions are abstract because abrosexuality looks different from person to person, so it’s difficult to pinpoint one universal experience.
Positive representation in the media is one of the most effective ways to de-stigmatize and educate the masses on underrepresented sexualities. Unfortunately, there are no canonical abrosexual characters in media right now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a headcanon, referring to a fan’s unconfirmed belief about a character or story.
So if you want to headcanon Jules from Euphoria as an abrosexual, who says you can’t?
Abrosexuality is one of many terms we’ve loved exploring on the HER blog. Your go-to hub for all things LGBTQ+. You can always find your community on the HER app.
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
