Mar 01, 2022
When it comes to figuring out your sexuality, it’s common for things to get confusing. Growing up in a heteronormative society with little queer representation may leave many of us feeling confused when we start to notice attraction to the same gender – this is particularly true if you’re bisexual.
For bisexual people, it’s extra confusing if we’ve gone our whole lives thinking we were only attracted to the opposite gender like the majority of people surrounding us. Many of us may have even grown up not really knowing bisexuality was a thing! However, oftentimes when we look back, we can see the signs were there all along.
If the process of determining your sexual orientation has left you feeling confused, know you are definitely not alone. Many people have gone through the exact same processes to figure out what labels do and don’t feel right for them… And it can be really confusing! Remember: You deserve to live your life authentically and surround yourself with people who love and accept you. (We suggest HER, a queer and bisexual dating app where it’s fun, safe, and easy to meet more people in your LGBTQ+ community.)
If you’re questioning if you might be bisexual, then you’ve come to the right place. We’ve put together 12 of some of the most common signs you might be the “B” in LGBTQ+.
Download HER appDespite the “bi” in “bisexual,” the definition of bisexuality is when someone feels attraction for more than one gender. Bisexual people may be attracted to men, women, nonbinary folks, etc, and they may even feel different forms of attraction to each.
There are no rules when it comes to the type or amount of attraction one must feel to be considered bisexual, but rather bisexual people can have different types, levels, and phases of attraction toward other genders. For example, bisexual people don’t have to feel equally attracted to both men and women – they may feel different forms of attraction to each or a little more to one than the other.
Bisexuality is not a box to fit into, but a doorway to discovering more about your authentic self! Although there are many misconceptions about being bi, bisexuality is a valid and real identity that many people are.
If any of this is ringing a bell to you so far, continue reading to find out some super common signs that you might just be bisexual too.
One of the biggest and most obvious signs of being bisexual is feeling physical attraction to more than one gender. Have you started to notice a funny feeling when looking at someone of the same gender from across the room? Have you been extra interested in a same-sex TV show character? Has your porn history begun to expand? These are all signs you’re likely sexually attracted to another gender.
Another sign of being bisexual is feeling a romantic attraction to more than one gender. Like we said, bisexuality has no rules, and there is no one type of attraction we have to have to be bisexual. Some bisexual people may first notice feeling a romantic attraction to more than one or all genders. This may look like feeling extra loving about a close friend or daydreaming about holding hands or growing old together with someone.
In addition to noticing some sort of attraction to more than one gender, feeling [sometimes super] confused about your sexuality is a common sign that your current label doesn’t really fit. Feeling confused about your attraction and coming up with reasons why you don’t actually feel that way is not, in fact, something most straight people have experience with.
When thinking of potential labels for your sexuality, if ‘bisexual’ sticks out the most or is the one you just keep coming back to, then it might truly be the one for you! Oftentimes, deep inside we know how we really feel, and it just takes some extra thinking for that knowledge to come to the surface.
Another common indicator of being within the LGBTQ+ community is feeling most comfortable around queer people. You may even find as you get older that most of the people in your friend group turned out to be queer! This can also look like identifying most with queer-coded movie characters or relating to queer people’s experiences and ways of thinking. In general, if you feel most able to be your authentic self around queer people, there’s a reason for that. 😉
Has your confusion led to a browser history full of online “Am I Bi/Gay” quizzes? Well, as it turns out, those who frequently question their sexuality often realize the answer is ‘yes.’ Even further, if taking those quizzes always results in a “you have a high likelihood of being bisexual” answer, there’s a good chance you really are. You may brush it off as a silly little quiz or come up with reasons why that’s not really true, but questioning to this extent alone is something many LGBTQ+ people experience.
A common experience for bisexual and other LGBTQ+ folks is having confusing relationships with the same gender that bordered on a thin line between being friendships or something more. Are there relationships in your past or even childhood that were confusing? If these relationships ended, did they make you feel extra upset? Do you still think about them and what they really meant? *Bi-radar alert*.
If you can’t stop thinking about feelings you had about someone of the same sex, over-analyzing homo-erotic dreams you had, or fixating on bi-signs from your childhood, there’s a good chance you are bisexual. Those who don’t have to think harder about their sexuality don’t think about it constantly.
Bisexual and LGBTQ+ individuals often, understandably, feel more passionate than more about biphobia and homophobia. Perhaps you get a little more offended when someone makes a slightly biphobic remark or you are often brought to tears about issues going on in the world. Although you might write off feeling more passionate than most about these issues as just being super empathetic, you might want to turn that empath energy within… because we’re sensing something a little different.
Many people within the LGBTQ+ community additionally don’t identify with typical gender identities and norms. If you’ve always felt a little different than what society claims you to be based on your sex, there’s a good chance you’re queer as well. Although it’s not a given, many bisexual people don’t fully identify with what their gender “should” be. Additionally, a lot of bisexual people are also attracted to those who defy gender norms.
Many people are, in fact, not a little gay and completely identify as straight. Bisexual people, however, do feel attracted to more than one gender, sometimes even just a little. It turns out not everyone thinks women are inherently more attractive than men or that everyone feels a little turned on by gay porn.
Our last sign that you might be bisexual is that you are reading this article (especially if this isn’t the first one you’ve clicked on). If you are constantly questioning whether or not you’re bisexual, there’s a good chance you have a valid reason too.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexually curious toward the same or other genders! Sexuality can be confusing, especially when living in a society that tells us there’s only one normal/natural sexuality. If you’re looking to explore your curiosity, the best thing you can do is communicate with the other party to make sure everyone’s on the same page.
Oftentimes curiosity leads to something more, but if not that’s okay too! If you find out you’re not actually queer or bi, you have nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s also okay for your sexual identity to change over time. Sexuality is fluid, and we are constantly changing and evolving throughout our lives.
Don’t be scared, think of it as exciting that you’re discovering new parts of yourself and can now live as your most authentic self.
If these 12 signs resonated with you, there’s a good chance you might be bisexual. Remember that being bisexual is beautiful, and it’s cool to be different in a society that often says otherwise!
You deserve to live your life authentically and surround yourself with people who love and accept you. HER is the dating app for connecting LGBTQ+ women and nonbinary folks where you are sure to find your loving community – or even that special person that just makes sense.
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Katie is a writer and creative person based in Seattle who is passionate about the arts, environmental justice, and all things vintage fashion. She celebrates queerness as a natural yet radical state of being, and she strives to make the world a more inclusive place for all. You can find her taking meditative strolls in the rain forests of the Pacific Northwest channeling her inner Bella Swan, or just on IG @ktmarieeee.
