Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Oct 06, 2023
When it comes to figuring out your sexuality, it’s common for things to get confusing. Growing up in a heteronormative society with little queer representation may leave many of us feeling confused when we start to notice attraction to the same gender – this is particularly true if you’re bisexual.
For bisexual people, it’s extra confusing if we’ve gone our whole lives thinking we were only attracted to the opposite gender like the majority of people surrounding us. Many of us may have even grown up not really knowing bisexuality was a thing! But, oftentimes when we look back, we can see the signs were there all along.
If the process of determining your sexual orientation has left you feeling confused, know you are definitely not alone. Many people have gone through the exact same processes to figure out what labels do and don’t feel right for them… And it can be really confusing!
Remember: You deserve to live your life authentically and surround yourself with people who love and accept you. (We suggest HER, a queer and bisexual dating app where it’s fun, safe, and easy to meet more people in your LGBTQIA+ community.)
If you’re questioning if you might be bisexual, then you’ve come to the right place. We’ve put together 17 of some of the most common signs you might be the “B” in LGBTQIA+.
Despite the “bi” in “bisexual,” the definition of bisexuality is when someone feels attraction for more than one gender. Bisexual people may be attracted to men, women, nonbinary folks, etc, and they may even feel different forms of attraction to each.
There are no rules when it comes to the type or amount of attraction one must feel to be considered bisexual, but rather bisexual people can have different types, levels, and phases of attraction toward other genders.
For example, bisexual people don’t have to feel equally attracted to both men and women – they may feel different forms of attraction to each or a little more to one than the other.
Source: PinkNews
Bisexuality is not a box to fit into, but a doorway to discovering more about your authentic self! Although there are many misconceptions about being bi, bisexuality is a valid and real identity that many people are.
If any of this is ringing a bell to you so far, continue reading to find out some super common signs that you might just be bisexual too.
Very little matters about your own gender if you’re bisexual. So if you’re wondering what are the signs of bisexual girl, or what are signs that a man is bisexual, these upcoming signs will still help you regardless of your gender. Use this as a personalized “am I bisexual” quiz and see how you feel after completing it!
One of the biggest and most obvious signs of being bisexual is feeling physical attraction to more than one gender. This might lead you to ask, what genders am I attracted to?! Well, here’s a good place to start: have you started to notice a funny feeling when looking at someone of the same gender from across the room? Have you been extra interested in a same-sex TV show character? Has your porn history begun to expand? These are all signs you’re likely sexually attracted to another gender.
Another sign of being bisexual is feeling a romantic attraction to more than one gender. Like we said, bisexuality has no rules, and there is no one type of attraction we have to have to be bisexual. Some bisexual people may first notice feeling a romantic attraction to more than one or all genders. This may look like feeling extra loving about a close friend or daydreaming about holding hands or growing old together with someone.
When thinking of potential labels for your sexuality, if ‘bisexual’ sticks out the most or is the one you just keep coming back to, then it might truly be the one for you! Oftentimes, deep inside we know how we really feel, and it just takes some extra thinking for that knowledge to come to the surface.
For example, pansexuality has a lot of similarities to bisexuality, but they are most definitely different. The bisexual vs. pansexual confusion can be boiled down to one main difference: bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender (sometimes all), while pansexual people are attracted to people regardless of gender, which means they have the capacity to be attracted to all genders.
After doing your own research about the differences between bisexuality and pansexuality, take some time to reflect on which one you think most encapsulates your own experience.
Source: Instagram
Another common indicator of being within the LGBTQIA+ community is feeling most comfortable around queer people. You may even find as you get older that most of the people in your friend group turned out to be queer! It might even be worth it to ask others close to you about their experiences.
If you’re having trouble finding friends who are out, maybe a local queer club at school could help you out. Online communities can also be a great way to find these kinds of connections. Check out Jill O’Sullivan’s Auto Bi-Ography and see if anything there also resonates with you.
You could even think back to your childhood. Did you ever find other queer people out in the wild and think to yourself, “they are so cool, I wish I could be like them!” Well, spoiler alert: who says you can’t be?
In general, if you feel most able to be your authentic self around queer people, there’s a reason for that. 😉
If you’re asking yourself if you’re bi, you’ve probably also taken a “How do I know if I’m bi” quiz or two. Has this confusion led to a browser history full of online “Am I Bi/Gay” quizzes? Well, as it turns out, those who frequently question their sexuality often realize the answer is ‘yes.’ Even further, if taking those quizzes always results in a “you have a high likelihood of being bisexual” answer, there’s a good chance you really are. You may brush it off as a silly little quiz or come up with reasons why that’s not really true, but questioning to this extent alone is something many LGBTQIA+ people experience.
After you’ve read this article on 17 signs of being bisexual, and you find yourself relating to most if not all the signs, then that’s a sign in itself that you might be bisexual!
Bi panic refers to the feeling of being flustered when encountering people of varying genders. You might walk down the street and find someone really attractive to the point that you’re very flustered, and then the next block down you encounter someone else of a seemingly different gender – and you’re equally flustered! It’s okay, it happens: it’s just bi panic.
A common experience for bisexual and other LGBTQIA+ folks is having confusing relationships with the same gender that bordered on a thin line between being friendships or something more. Are there relationships in your past or even childhood that were confusing? If these relationships ended, did they make you feel extra upset? Do you still think about them and what they really meant? *Bi-radar alert*.
If you can’t stop thinking about feelings you had about someone of the same sex, over-analyzing homo-erotic dreams you had, or fixating on bi-signs from your childhood, there’s a good chance you are bisexual. Those who don’t have to think harder about their sexuality don’t think about it constantly.
Bisexual and LGBTQIA+ individuals often, understandably, feel more passionate than more about biphobia and homophobia. Perhaps you get a little more offended when someone makes a slightly biphobic remark or you are often brought to tears about issues going on in the world. You might also be a big history buff and find yourself particularly interested in queer or bisexual history. Learning about how far the bi community has come can usually trigger a sense of pride and solidarity that is quite unique when you yourself are bisexual.
Although you might write off feeling more passionate than most about these issues as just being super empathetic, you might want to turn that empath energy within… because we’re sensing something a little different.
Many people within the LGBTQIA+ community additionally don’t identify with typical gender identities and norms. If you’ve always felt a little different from what society claims you to be based on your sex, there’s a good chance you’re queer as well.
Although it’s not a given, many bisexual people don’t fully identify with what their gender “should” be. Additionally, a lot of bisexual people are also attracted to those who defy gender norms, and they might even experience something called gender envy.
Many people are, in fact, not a little gay and completely identify as straight. Bisexual people, however, do feel attracted to more than one gender, sometimes even just a little. It turns out not everyone thinks women are inherently more attractive than men or that everyone feels a little turned on by gay porn.
Some people love being bisexual so much that they dedicate their content to it. A quick search for “bi memes” on YouTube or Instagram and you’ll find so much funny and relatable content that’ll make your questioning heart soar.
YouTuber Jammidodger even has a video that relates to his personal experience as a transgender bisexual man, and it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for relatable bi memes.
Thankfully, we have more queer stories than ever before, we’ve even previously put together over twenty bisexual movies streaming now. That – along with all the TV shows, books, and other forms of media – means we have so many things to choose from. A lot of bisexual and queer people begin with being obsessed with queer media before they themselves come out.
The bisexual flag is pretty gorgeous. It has pink, purple, and blue horizontal stripes and symbolizes the history and nuances of being bisexual. We wouldn’t blame you for picking these colors for your next makeup look or outfit!
Look, we get it. A little drink here and there and suddenly you’re kissing your same-sex best friend! Harmless, right? Probably. But sometimes it’s worth digging a little deeper and asking yourself if you’re holding yourself back from some profound realizations. You might end up setting yourself free if you do.
Our last sign that you might be bisexual is that you are reading this article (especially if this isn’t the first one you’ve clicked on). If you are constantly questioning whether or not you’re bisexual, there’s a good chance you have a valid reason too.
There’s an iconic line from the bestselling book Red, White, and Royal Blue, in which our iconic main character, Alex Claremont-Diaz, has a bisexual awakening. After several pages of questioning himself about whether a steamy friendship in college meant anything, or whether an irrational parasocial obsession from afar with the Prince of England was actual bisexual attraction, he finally realizes something…
“Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves that they’re straight.”
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
Maybe you can learn a thing or two from the iconic bisexual character Alex Claremont-Diaz.
Oftentimes curiosity leads to something more, but if not that’s okay too! If you find out you’re not actually queer or bi, you have nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s also okay for your sexual identity to change over time. Sexuality is fluid, and we are constantly changing and evolving throughout our lives.
Don’t be scared, think of it as exciting that you’re discovering new parts of yourself and can now live as your most authentic self.
If these 12 signs resonated with you, there’s a good chance you might be bisexual. Remember that being bisexual is beautiful, and it’s cool to be different in a society that often says otherwise!
You deserve to live your life authentically and surround yourself with people who love and accept you. HER is the dating app for connecting LGBTQIA+ women and nonbinary folks where you are sure to find your loving community – or even that special person that just makes sense.
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
