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The meaning of Big Dick Energy and Big Dyke Energy

Robyn Exton

Sep 02, 2023

The meaning of Big Dick Energy and Big Dyke Energy

Tired: BDE, Big Dick Energy. Can be body shaming and transphobic. Most commonly associated with Pete Davidson. 

Wired: BDE, Big Dyke Energy. Awesome, gay, just for us queers. 

It’s been five years since both BDEs took the internet by storm. So it’s time to give us gays a brief history of BDE and make my case for why, like flannel shirts and IPAs, we must steal it from the straight men and embrace Big Dyke Energy. 

A brief internet history of Big Dick Energy 

Source: Buzzfeed

I don’t know about y’all, but when Big Dick Energy took over the internet, my first reaction was, “What in the straight nonsense is this?” The term started to make its rounds on Twitter in 2018, back in the days of Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. 

The people needed to know, how does this gaunt scarecrow have this pop diva ogling at her while licking a cherry lollipop? According to Twitter user @babyvietcong, the answer is “he exudes big dick energy.”

What is BDE? As Allison Davis described it in The Cut, BDE is “a quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing you have an enormous penis and know what to do with it.” 

Davis also notes that one does not have to have a dick to have BDE. It’s an aura rather than a physical characteristic. Other famous possessors of BDE included the likes of Rihanna and Cate Blanchett. 

I would argue that the discourse in 2018 glossed over how the overnight phenomenon of Big Dick Energy was a great example of our phallus-obsessed culture. 

For someone struggling with their gender or sexuality in 2018 (What? Who me?), it wasn’t that easy to set aside the dick part of BDE.  

But one thing BDE did get right was how amazing it is to be with someone hot in a solid and kind way, regardless of gender. 

Introducing Big Dyke Energy

Then we have the queer remix — Big Dyke Energy, which emerged around the same time. If straight people were going to be horny on the timeline, so were we! But I would argue there are subtle differences between Big Dick Energy and Big Dyke Energy. 

Big Dyke Energy is the most powerful BDE. It is confidence, point blank. It’s shameless, goofy, joyful. And it’s just for us queers. Where Big Dick Energy is the inverse of toxic masculinity, Big Dyke Energy is about standing up to homophobia and transphobia in all its forms. 

5 signs they have BDE: HER edition 

To illustrate my point, here are signs that they have Big Dyke Energy, IRL.  

When they cannot sit in a chair correctly 

This is one of the tell-tale signs of Big Dyke Energy. A chair cannot contain BDE. The more obvious the fidgeting and spreading, the bigger the energy. 

When she turns around halfway down the aisle with that, you’re on camera smiling like she wants to try me on 

So much of Big Dyke Energy is in the Look. It’s the moment when the yearning stare turns to the I-Actually-Am-Going-To-Kiss-Her stare. 

Silk Chiffon GIF by MUNA - Find & Share on GIPHY

Source: Giphy

Long fingers, short nails 

Big Dyke Energy is all in the hands. Hands are so sexy oh my goddddddd. Or did you see Kehlani’s U-Haul nails? Where they have the middle two fingers without the acrylics? That is the Biggest Dyke Energy. 

Women and nonbinary people in suits 

Obviously. Liv Hewson. Cate Blanchett.  Kristen Stewart. Dylan Mulvaney. They all know what they’re doing, and that’s what’s so hot about it. 

Communicate clearly and respect boundaries

Big Dyke Energy is respectful and kind. Big Dyke Energy comes in many forms because queer people come in many forms, but at its core, it makes other queer people feel welcome in the LGBTQ community. 

Sapphic BDE Memes 

  1. It’s a circle.

  1. 90s culture was BDE in all senses
  1. The milk meme is so core to queer culture, and it has extreme BDE

  1. Obviously, Kristen Stewart was going to pop up here somewhere 


Big Dyke Energy is Big Dick Energy 2.0. And if you have it, flaunt it, baby! 

Robyn Exton

Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

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