Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Nov 22, 2023
Can you be bisexual and queer?
It might seem like a silly question to some people in the community. But it’s important to know that there are actually no silly questions, and your friends here at HER always have an answer.
As for this query, of course, you can be bisexual and queer, darling, and depending on how you see your queer identity, there might be an overlap within the terms. But let’s dive deeper into this fabulous term and see if it fits you like a glove.
Being Bi/Queer is kind of like saying you’re bisexual and queer at the same time. So why bother having a specific term? Well, honey, it is never a bother to identify yourself the way you feel comfortable doing so. But if you reeeally want to know, it’s always better to say things straight (ironically).
If both words suit who you are, why separate them? It’s easy, breezy, and beautiful to find something so specifically “you” that there is no reason not to flaunt it.
It’s more like a combination of both.
As many know, bisexual is the attraction to more than one gender, or your gender + different genders. As for queer, it is an umbrella term that people in the LGBTQIA+ community chose to reclaim, and because of that, it has a few different meanings. Sometimes, it means to be in between the gender spectrum.
Occasionally, it means to be gay in a way that attraction is not so easy to define, and other times, it just means to be any letter of the so-called alphabet mafia. In this case, queer is mostly used in the “gender way.”
You might now wonder that if you’re bi, why should you specify queerness? Well, it’s not that you should, it’s a preference! Maybe you don’t feel like you’re living the same experience as your cis-bi peers and need to find a more niche community, and that’s totally valid!
On the other hand, you might identify with your gender assigned at birth and be bisexual. Still, the term queer fits just right with your experience within the community, so making that distinction is important to you, whether it is an act of resistance or acceptance.
Just do it! I know it isn’t that easy, but the first step is to dive into these fabulous gay waters we call pride. 🏳️🌈 You can start by adding it to your social media bio or your profile in the HER app. Say it when someone asks about it, or write it on your sign for the next parade.
The most important thing to know is that this label is for your own pride and comfort. You can introduce yourself however you want, and most importantly, the way it’s safer for you. So whether you say it out loud or not, it’s always your choice.
The Bi/Queer flag is pretty easy to identify. It’s a combination of the genderqueer flag and the bisexual flag. You can see the first one surrounding the latter one in the shape of a heart.
And what do the colors mean? Well, that lush purple is like a symbol of embracing all things queer. This fabulous mix of energies celebrates the beautiful spectrum of gender, and it applies to both flags.
And then there’s the white stripe, honey. It’s in all non-binary flags out there. Total freedom, total empowerment. Oh, and the green? That’s for those gender identities that just refuse to be boxed in by the old-school norms and open up spaces for new baby gays.
That pop of pink or fuchsia is a shoutout to all those fabulous people rocking the same-gender love vibes. And lastly, that bold blue layer at the peak represents those with opposite gender attractions.
This wonderful combination of colors represents a unique identity that is ready to break through!
You’re not alone in this! Some of your favorite singers, actors, and artists identify or have identified as Bi/Queer.
Source: Rolling Stone
The Tumblr icon turned pop star turned makeup magnate has been openly bisexual since their internet stardom days, but a couple of years ago, they expressed how pregnancy made them aware of being mainly human, and that led them to add ‘they/them’ pronouns to their identity.
“The inclusion of ‘they’ in addition to ‘she’ feels most authentic to me. If you know me at all you know what it means to me to express this outwardly. Thanks for being the best.”
Halsey
Source: Número
Famously known as a queer model and activist, he is known for his iconic appearance on the cover of Gay Times magazine, openly talking about his bisexuality and challenging gender norms in the fashion industry.
“I initially picked the label bisexual because it felt like the first and easiest option for me. But, since then, I have identified as a queer person as it allows me to express myself without needing to give specific labels about who I am romantically involved with or my gender identity.”
Reece King
Source: Bunte
As an OG teen heartthrob, Tyler was the crush of many folks out there. Not only is he charming, but he’s advocated for LGBTQIA+ rights since he was very young.
“I’m queer. I’ve identified as bisexual since a teenager. I just want to feel powerful in my own skin, and my own mind, and in my own heart.”
Tyler Blackburn
Source: Glamour
From ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ to the NYC streets at ‘And Just Like That,’ Sara became a powerful LGBTQIA+ icon, paving the way for other gender-nonconforming actors thanks to their advocacy for more queer characters in media.
“Because of the intersections that exist in my own life: woman, multi-racial woman, woman of color, queer, bisexual, Mexican-Irish American, immigrant, and raised by families heavily rooted in Catholicism on both my Mexican and Irish sides, I am deeply invested in projects that allow our youth’s voices to be heard.”
Sara Ramirez
The pop and rock star came out as bisexual* after their hit ‘Cool For The Summer’ came out. That realization made them start pondering their idea of gender identity, and now became an LGBTQIA+ legend in the world of stardom.
“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am.”
Demi Lovato
Even though they identified as bisexual for a long time, they recently came out as pansexual. Still, their coming out story almost 10 years ago paved the way for many Bi/Queer folks out there.
Read about some experiences from lovely people that, like possibly you, identify as Bi/Queer. The whys, the hows, it’s always better to know what it’s like firsthand and be aware that your unique experience can still be relatable to others.
“I like to use queer for myself as a general term when I don’t want to specifically describe my gender, sexuality, or orientation. It’s a brief, simple word that sums up my experience and connects me to others like myself.”
Reddit user shortorangefish.
“I say queer sometimes, and my flavor of queer is that I’m bi. But I have also heard people say, “I’m not bi; I’m queer,” as a replacement word because they think being bi means you can’t be attracted to trans or genderfluid or non-binary people, but only cis women and cis men. And that’s just not true IMO, and is a fundamental misunderstanding of bisexuality.”
Reddit user somedepression.
“I am bi and nonbinary. I personally like the word queer better than gay when talking about people. No matter the relationship I am in, I am queer.”
Reddit user Bearaboolovespuppies.
So now you know, if you identify as Bi/Queer, you’re definitely not alone! The way you choose to identify yourself is always valid, and your space in the LGBTQIA+ community is respected and valued by all your queer peers, like us.
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
