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Dec 22, 2025
So, you’ve got a new partner. Things are going well, and this holiday season, you want to take that next big step: bringing your new partner home to meet your friends and family. This moment can be incredibly stressful and a moment that you dread getting over with.
For your loved ones, knowing you’re queer theoretically and seeing it IRL can feel very different. For your partner, it can be overwhelming to finally put faces to the names they’ve probably heard a ton of stories about (both good and bad). We know that this merging of worlds can cause your anxiety to skyrocket, but we’re here to help ground your nerves. Remember, if your friends and family really respect you (and your identity), they’ll welcome your partner with open arms.
The holidays can be a super stressful time, with lots of people, traveling, events, and plans to think about. Throwing your new partner into the mix might feel like a lot. And, let’s be honest, it definitely can be a lot. But, there are things you can do to make bringing your new partner home for the holidays even smoother and easier for everyone all around, and make it as stress-free as possible. We’re here to help you get through the holiday season.
We know it’s a cliche, but preparation is key. Have a chat with your partner before they dive headfirst into meeting your friends and family. Tell them about each of the people they’re going to meet, if there are any particular pet peeves or topics of conversation to avoid, and in general, what their vibe is like and what they’re into. It very well might be nerve-wracking for your partner, too, so make sure that they feel comfortable and ready. You can even give them ideas for conversation starters, in case there’s an awkward silence. For example, think about hobbies, interests, or experiences that your partner may already share with your family members. This will help alleviate anxiety and make you both feel ready to conquer those yuletide small talks.
Do the same with your friends and family. Tell them a bit about your partner, what they’re like, and what to expect. Particularly if your partner is trans or non-binary, make sure the people they’re meeting know their pronouns and how they like to be referred to.
There are no strict rules when it comes to introducing your new partner to your family and friends. It all depends on your relationship with your partner and with your loved ones. But there are a few things you can keep in mind.
Don’t put too much pressure on it. If you have a supportive family and friends, you can trust them to be open-minded and put effort into welcoming and connecting with your new partner. It can also take a while for people to warm up to one another, so be patient. They might not be besties right away, and that’s totally okay. Relationships take time to grow, and bringing them home is the first seed in something that hopefully grows much stronger over time.
When you’re bringing a partner home for the first time, the initial introduction can feel really exhausting. You can mentally prepare for the moment as much as you feel you need to to help minimize your anxiety. Practice it in your head, or out loud if you need to! It might not hurt to even have something jotted down on your Notes app, just in case.
Think about the situation beforehand and how it might play out. But ultimately, remember that it’s not all about that first introduction. Your family and friends will slowly build a relationship with your partner over time, just like you have. Don’t put too much pressure on first impressions. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, and that’s an unfair goal to put on yourself (and your partner).
The holidays can be stressful for queer people for lots of reasons. If you don’t get along with your family, or if you’re no-contact with them, this season can be a painful reminder of what you’re missing. Or you can feel forced to spend time with people who might not accept you, or that you can’t really be yourself around. Bringing a new partner into the equation can feel like additional stress. But you and your partner can get through it together. Just don’t put yourself into a situation where you, or your partner, is unsafe. If you think that there is any possibility that your family will react poorly, please do not put yourself or your partner in that position, and skip the intros this holiday season.
Most of the time, bringing your partner home for the first time will go better than you think. We have a tendency to blow things out of proportion in our heads and feel anxious about how everything is going to go. That’s a completely normal spiral to fall down, and we’ve all been there. But try to think of it as bringing together people who love you and care about you. They’ll want to put in the effort to get to know each other for your sake. So, try to just keep it casual and have fun! May this be the first of many happy memories, surrounded by all the people who love you the most.
Have you not found your perfect partner yet? Or maybe you have, but you want to connect with other sapphics and build a supportive community around you? Whether you’re looking to date, hook up, to find ‘the one’, or find friends who would absolutely adore your partner, HER is a safe space for sapphics to find each other. Whatever you’re looking for, you can find it on HER.
Chicago-based community manager, content writer, and professional cupid who’s still in her emo era. When she's not hosting HER virtual events, you’ll find her creating oddly specific playlists on Spotify and hitting up way too many concerts with her partner. Catch her where the music’s loud, the food is cheesy, and the eyeliner’s smudged just right!
