Select your language

Download HER

Tips for Bringing Someone Home to Meet Your Friends and Family

Robyn Exton

Dec 14, 2021

Tips for Bringing Someone Home to Meet Your Friends and Family
  • Bringing your new partner home to meet your friends and family can be stressful for anyone, but particularly if you’re LGBTQ+. For your loved ones, knowing you’re queer theoretically and seeing it can feel very different. But don’t be scared. If your friends and family really respect your identity, they’ll welcome your partner with open arms.

    The holidays can be a stressful time, with lots of people, preparation and plans to think about. Throwing your new partner into the mix might feel like a lot. But there are things you can do to make bringing your new partner home for the holidays smoother and easier for everyone.

    Download HER app

    Ways to Prepare so Everyone is Ready

    As with so many things in life, preparation is key. For your partner, have a chat with them before they dive into meeting your friends and family. Tell them about each of the people they’re going to meet, if there are any particular pet peeves or topics of conversation to avoid, and what they’re like more generally. It can be nerve-wracking for your partner too, so make sure they feel comfortable and ready. You can even give them ideas for conversation starters, in case there’s an awkward silence. For example, think about hobbies, interests, or experiences your partner may share with your family. This will help alleviate anxiety and make you both feel ready.

    Do the same with your friends and family. Tell them a bit about your partner, what they’re like and what to expect. Particularly if your partner is trans or non-binary, make sure the people they’re meeting know their pronouns and how they like to be referred to.

    Do’s and Don’ts

    There are no strict rules when it comes to introducing your new partner to your family and friends. It all depends on your relationship with your partner, and with your loved ones. But there are a few things you can keep in mind. Don’t put too much pressure on it. If you have a supportive family and friends, you can trust them to be open-minded, and put effort into welcoming and connecting with your new partner. Also, it can take a while for people to really get each other, so be patient.

    How to Tell Your Loved Ones You’re an LGBTQ Person

    Before you bring your new partner home, you’ll want to come out to your friends and family first. Try to avoid bringing your partner home if your family doesn’t know you’re LGBTQ+ yet. You don’t know how they’ll react, and you need to give them the space to process and talk to you about it, without the added pressure of your new partner also being there. However you choose to come out, just give it some time before you bring your new partner into the mix.

    Introducing Your Partner for the First Time

    When you’re bringing a partner home for the first time, the initial introduction can feel really daunting. You can mentally prepare for the moment as much as you feel you need to, to minimize your anxiety. Practice it in your head, or out loud if you need to! Think about the situation beforehand and how it might play out. But ultimately, remember that it’s not all about that first introduction. Your family and friends will slowly build a relationship with your partner over time, just like you have. Don’t put too much pressure on first impressions.

    Why the Holidays can be Stressful as a Queer Person

    The holidays can be stressful for queer people for lots of reasons. If you don’t get along with your family, this season can be a painful reminder of what you’re missing. Or you can feel forced to spend time with people that might not accept you, or that you can’t be yourself around. Bringing a new partner into the mix can feel like additional stress. But you and your partner can get through it together. Just don’t put yourself into a situation where you’re unsafe.

    Make the Best of It

    Most of the time, bringing your partner home for the first time will go better than you think. We have a tendency to blow things out of proportion in our heads and feel anxious about how everything is going to go. That’s completely normal. But think of it as bringing together people who love you and care about you. They’ll want to put in the effort to get to know each other for your sake. So, try to just keep it casual and have fun!

    Find Your Inner Circle with HER

    Have you not found your perfect partner yet? Or maybe you have, but you want to connect with other LGBTQ+ people and build a supportive community around you? Whether you’re looking to date, to hook up, to find ‘the one’, or find like-minded people to hang out with, HER is a safe space for queer people to find each other. Whatever you’re looking for, you can find it on HER.

    Download HER app
    Robyn Exton

    Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.

    Newsletter Sign Up