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The real meaning of chapstick lesbian and their fight for futch representation 

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Feb 29, 2020

The real meaning of chapstick lesbian and their fight for futch representation 
  • You know it’s officially autumn when the leaves turn red, the temperatures drop to 60, and you can finally start wearing layers again. There you are at your favorite cafe, sipping on a pumpkin-spiced latte, waiting for the woman you just matched with on HER when suddenly you realize your lips are dry. There is nothing less sexy than chapped lips! 

    Then, a mysterious woman appears out of nowhere and walks toward you, pulling a small tube out of her denim jacket pocket. It’s giving Carmex charm. It’s giving Burt’s Bees, please. She put the bliss in Blistex. Never fear. The chapstick lesbian is here.

    If you are gay and on the internet, you might have come across a seemingly new brand of dyke flying their flag high. And by flag, I mean lip balm. 

    But the truth is that chapstick lesbians have been around since chapstick was invented. But what exactly is the meaning of a chapstick lesbian? What’s the difference between a chapstick lesbian and a soft butch? And who are some of the chapstick lesbians taking TikTok by storm? Below is everything you need to know about this particular brand of low femme: the chapstick lesbian. 

    The definition of a chapstick lesbian

    Okay, so if you are gay, you’ve probably heard of the term “lipstick lesbian.” If a lipstick lesbian is the super femme one in a wlw relationship, then a chapstick lesbian is her low-maintenance girlfriend waiting for her to finish getting ready. 

    They are not quite masculine-leaning enough to be considered a butch dyke, but they are also not feminine-leaning enough to be a high femme. Chapstick lesbians are more like “futches” (a combination of femme and butch). 

    A picture of a mixed-race girl wearing a chapstick lesbian t-shirt. No really, there is a picture of Chapstick on the shirt and the words lesbian underneath it.

    Source: Society 6

    What is the chapstick lesbian aesthetic? 

    So now that you’ve added the word futch to your lexicon, the chapstick lesbian aesthetic starts to come into focus. 

    A chapstick lesbian is the kind of wash-and-go dyke who wears the same pairs of jeans—in slightly varying colors—and t-shirts almost daily. Depending on the season, they might occasionally change their jacket from denim to leather.

    Plaid is a language chapstick lesbians are fluent in. They might grab a baseball cap from their meticulously organized closet before they grab a sundress. This doesn’t mean chapsticks can’t dress up, but they prefer not to. She is best known for serving… practical. She doesn’t wear much makeup. And whether they have long hair or a cute bob, they can get ready in T-5 minutes and still somehow look like a million bucks. 

    A chapstick lesbian’s superpower lies in her subtlety. She doesn’t like being pampered, but she knows how to care for herself. She loves a good skincare routine as long as it doesn’t take too long. 

    These lesbians tend to have naturally glowy skin and only need a quirt or two of non-scented lotion to moisturize. A chapstick lesbian might rock a dress or lipstick on a special occasion, but more likely, a pantsuit has its name written all over it. 

    Chapstick lesbian culture

    While there is no official chapstick lesbian flag, it might as well be a giant sign that says, “ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE BIT OF LIP BALM, AND I’M GOOD TO GO.” Sensibility is the name of the game when it comes to chapstick lesbian culture. 

    A chappie might own three different pairs of Birkenstocks, a tried and true pair of Blundstones, or some Adidas Sambas they wear weekly to their intramural softball league. She might throw a she/they in the pronoun circle every once in a while. 

    Either way, you bet your ass that chapstick lesbians f*cking love going on a good hike. And yes, they will be packing up the picnic full of curated delicious treats they picked up at the farmer’s market on the way back from the dog park. They love a glass of prosecco or a good old-fashioned Moscow Mule, which they sip on with their perfectly hydrated lips. 

    A meme of a little creature screaming with text above that reads “Katy Perry: I kissed a girl— 12 year-old closeted bisexual me: AND I LIKED IT, THE TASTE OF HER CHERRY CHAPSTICK.”

    Source: iFunny

    What is the difference between a chapstick lesbian vs. a soft butch?

    This is a tough one. A chapstick lesbian is known for her versatility, so soft butch might be one of the many looks she has in her repertoire. Or it might be her main game! However, if we are getting technical, a chapstick lesbian while sharing some of the same behavioral traits and qualities as a soft butch, prefers to retain more of her feminine attributes. A soft butch is on the masculine side of the lesbian spectrum, whereas a chapstick lesbian sits somewhere comfortably in the middle. 

    But remember, labels are only fun if they feel good. If you identify as a soft butch AND a chapstick lesbian, then congratulations! You are the center circle in the Venn diagram. Also, many people I used to know as chapstick lesbians now identify as non-binary or transmasculine.

    The spectrum is wide! Gender expression is a choose-your-own-adventure! The best thing about being a chapstick lesbian is that you don’t gravitate toward traditional binaries of butch or femme. You do what you want, wear what you want, and don’t give a damn about it.

    Chapstick lesbians represent 

    So now that we’ve filled in the blanks on what a bonafide chappie means, you might be wondering who are some famous chapstick lesbians. For the purposes of this article, we are using the word *famous* in the queer micro niche celebrity meaning of the word. 

    Youtuber Shannon Beveridge—who you might know as FLETCHER’s ex—is a living, breathing, perfect example of a chapstick lesbian who has recently embraced the label.


    and that label makes me feel comfy!!! #wlw

    ♬ original sound – Taco

    Source: TikTok

    Another visible chapstick lesbians of TikTok is Mak Ingemi. She takes chapstick culture to a whole nother level with her fit checks and rock climbing videos. 


    per request, some more outfits 😃😋

    ♬ Before I Knew It – Mason Ramsey

    Source: TikTok

    If you’re looking for more variety in your chapstick lesbian representation, you can find inspo in King Princess, Samira Wiley, Amber Whittington, Ally Hills, or everyone’s mom’s favorite, Ellen Degeneres. 

    Call her what you want. A chapstick lesbian. A lazy femme. A low-maintenance loverboy. Chapsticks’ ponytails might hang low, but their heads hang high. Kiss a chapstick lesbian’s lips once, and you’ll never be the same again.

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    Dusty Brandt Howard is a writer & a fighter. He is a trans masculine cultural narrator who builds worlds with words. You can follow his thirst traps on Instagram, his writing on Substack, or find him at your local queer bar in northeast LA.

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