20 Best DMs to Break the Ice

Nov 15, 2021

20 Best DMs to Break the Ice
  • Table of Contents

  • Often, the hardest part of dating apps is breaking the ice. What do you say to someone you don’t know and have never met, when you want to make a good impression? The truth is, there is no perfect line that will work every time. Everyone is different. What you can do is stand out. Just saying ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ or ‘You’re cute’ is fine, but it won’t make the other person remember you, make them think or surprise them.

    Download HER app

    The Best DMs to Find Your Person

    Thinking of something different and original every time can be tough. We can’t be brilliant and witty all the time! So, we’ve created a tool to help you kick-off the conversation and hopefully build a connection with someone new. You never know – you might just find the one.

    About Them

    In early conversations, it’s normal to want to get to know someone better. If you’re a naturally curious person, don’t be afraid to dive right in! Avoid the small talk and get right into the interesting stuff.

    • Want to trade coming out stories?
    • Where do you stand on pineapple on pizza?
    • What is your guilty pleasure? Mine is <write yours here>
    • Cool job! What’s it really like?

    Go Bold

    If you’re a bold person, show them! Go big or go home right? Be your most confident self and give them a compliment. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell them you think they’re hot and you want to take them out. 

    • If you were with me right now, what would we be doing?
    • Match. Does this mean we’re u-hauling now?
    • Wow, you’re beautiful. Mind if I tell you that again over drinks next Saturday?
    • I don’t normally send the first message, but I knew I had to make an exception for you.

    Stand Out with Something Unusual

    Lots of people don’t put that much effort into their opening lines, so one way to stand out is to go for something a little out there. It might catch them off guard, and interest them enough to take you out.

    • Jeopardy round #1: I either have never drunk wine or I have never flown anywhere.
    • It’s the zombie apocalypse and you’ve been bitten. Do you tell the other survivors about it?
    • Corny pick-up line, gif, or being asked out?
    • Are you a sleep in socks kind of person?

    Cheesy Pick-Up Lines

    We’ve all heard the cheesy pick-up lines repeated over and over again on TV and in movies. But even though they’re cheesy, they’re also funny. The way to a girl’s heart is through her funny bone, so give one of these a try.

    • Do you like raisins? How about a date?
    • Alright, I’m here. What are your two other wishes?
    • On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
    • OK, this line is cheesy, but you look really Gouda in your pics. 

    Connect Through Your Interests

    Finding shared interests is a great way to make a connection and build familiarity with a person. Often, you can use someone’s bio and photos to deduce what they’re into. If not, lead with one of your interests and see if they share it!

    • I see you love cooking! What’s your signature dish?
    • If you could see anyone in concert, who would you see and why?
    • You seem like a true travel buff! Are you a window or aisle seat person?
    • I need your opinion on something – which TV show had the worst series finale of all time?

    Generate Your Own DMs

    Use our interactive tool to pick the best DM for your next match! We’re always trying to make queer dating easy. So, go ahead, generate your after-match message and find your person 💖

    Download HER app

    Forever an explorer, Komal still considers herself a California girl at heart and isn't sure she'll ever leave. She gains and loses hobbies every half-decade and has already amassed several different lives. From neuroscientist to creative consultant, she's had many titles - but the one that has stuck is Content Manager at HER. She hopes we get close to world peace and that society will continue to be a queerer, freer place. You can follow Komal on IG @callmekoms

    Newsletter Sign Up

      Her Logo

      HER is here to connect queer women, non-binary, trans and gender non-confirming folks. We want to connect you to your person. A travel buddy, a friend in a new city or love for life.

      HER App
      Supports & legals
      Add us on socials