7 essential tips: How do I explain my bisexuality to potential partners?

You don’t need to deliver a TED Talk to explain your bisexuality. 

A simple, honest line like “I’m attracted to more than one gender” can open the door… And you are in complete control of when and how to walk through it. The goal isn’t to justify yourself: your sexuality is valid. The goal here is to help a potential partner understand you better while keeping your boundaries intact. 

Below, you’ll find seven practical tips, from timing and tone to myth-busting and safety, that reflect how folks in the bisexual community actually navigate these hard conversations. If your nerves are high, that’s totally normal. Share whenever you feel ready, keep it conversational, and remember: your identity is valid whether or not someone “gets it” right away, or at all.

HER: Leading with honesty and community

HER is built on queer community and honest connection, which means your safety, comfort, and self-definition come first. There’s no universal script or timeline for sharing your orientation. Disclosure is a choice, not a test you have to pass, and it’s okay to wait until it feels right for you, emotionally and situationally, as you start exploring bisexuality. 

We also prioritize queer dating safety: pick spaces (online or IRL) that let you be your true self without the pressure. Your bisexual identity is valid at every stage, regardless of who you’re currently dating, because orientation is about the capacity for attraction, not just your latest relationship. That’s covered in this clear overview on understanding bisexuality. 

More visibility helps all of us; more choice keeps you safe.

1. Center your meaning: Share what bisexuality means to you

Make it personal, not clinical. Short “I” statements help:

• “I’m bisexual. I’m attracted to more than one gender.”
• “For me, it shows up as both romantic and sexual attraction.”
• “It isn’t a 50/50 split. It just means more than one gender.”

Bisexuality means attraction to more than one gender. “Bi” doesn’t lock you to two, or to equal percentages about who you’re attracted to, a point many newcomers find helpful in a beginner’s guide to bisexuality. Attraction can be romantic and/or sexual, and it can ebb and flow over time. Diversity inside the label is normal, which you can read more about in this piece on bisexuality and expectations. Focus on how it feels for you rather than listing exes or “proof.” You don’t have to prove you’re gay enough (and if they’re making you, they’re probably not right for you).

2. Choose the right timing and format

You’re allowed to disclose on your own timeline. Pick a moment and method that, above everything else, is in line with your comfort and safety.

• Direct early disclosure: simple and clear upfront.
• Gradual, contextual disclosure: share as trust and connection grow.
• Message or text: gives you space to choose words and manage reactions.
• In-person conversation: helpful for nuance and mutual reading of the room.
• Third-party intro or bio: a mention on your dating profile can filter in folks who are already open.

Bottom line: choose settings where you feel free to be honest: text, voice, in-person, or somewhere in between. Your pace is your own, and we respect it. Other folks will too.

3. Set boundaries and clarify relationship preferences

Orientation doesn’t dictate your relationship style. Bisexual people date monogamously, non-monogamously, and everything in between. Though there’s a super annoying myth that suggests bisexuals are more likely to be open in relationships, attraction and behavior aren’t the same thing. This distinction is reinforced in understanding bisexuality. 

It’s okay to be upfront about what you want:

• “I’m looking for something monogamous.”
• “I value openness and transparency; I’m exploring ethical non-monogamy.”
• “I need steady communication and shared boundaries.”

Clarity early on reduces stress and counters stereotypes about cheating.

4. Address common myths and reframe misconceptions

Biphobia, or prejudice toward bisexual people, and bi erasure (the minimizing or denial of bisexuality) still show up in dating spaces, unfortunately. The Bisexual Organizing Project resources offer language that can help you name what’s happening if you’re facing these kinds of stereotypes or uncomfortable challenges. 

A quick myth-bust can diffuse tension:

Myth	Truth
“It’s just a phase.”	Bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation, not a stepping stone.
“Bi people can’t be faithful.”	Attraction doesn’t equal action; fidelity is about agreements and values.
“You must be confused.”	Bi people understand their orientation; uncertainty isn’t the default.

Keep it gentle and brief. Remember that you’re sharing context, not asking for permission.

5. Prepare for reactions and plan your coping strategies

Reactions will vary. Research summaries in the Bi Visibility Resource List mention that bisexual folks often face wider ranges of responses and come out at lower rates than their gay and lesbian peers. Remember that mixed reactions aren’t about your worth.

 Try:

• Practicing a few short responses (“That’s a stereotype; here’s what it means for me…”).
• Lining up a supportive friend, sapphic group, or the bisexual community to chat with after.
• Using grounding techniques (slow breaths, feet on the floor) if emotions rise.

Whatever the response, your identity stands. Community helps you steady yourself and stay visible.

6. Use concrete examples without oversharing

Stories can make things click, but you never owe intimate details. 

You might say:

• “I realized I’m bi when I noticed who I kept feeling drawn to over time.”
• “It’s about who I can be attracted to, not what I’ve done.”

If questions turn invasive, redirect: “I’m happy to share how it feels for me, but I’m not comfortable getting into past specifics.” Boundaries are part of a healthy connection.

7. Connect your partner to resources and invite dialogue

You’re not obligated to be the educator. If someone wants to learn more, point them to trusted sources and keep the convo open-ended. Remember, if they want to: they will. 

Here’s some resources you can slide their way:

• Bi.org’s overview, Bisexuality, the Basics
• Curated tools in the Bi Visibility Resource List
• Community support via Bisexual Organizing Project resources
• HER’s own guides like HER’s bisexuality guide and HER’s bisexual visibility hub

End it with an invite: “I’m open to questions now or later. This is a conversation, I’m not quizzing.”

Frequently Asked Questions

When is the best time to talk about my bisexuality with someone new?

Whenever you feel safe and ready. Some share early to filter, others wait until trust builds. Your timing is your call.

How can I explain bisexuality clearly without sounding like I’m just curious?

Try: “I’m bisexual, which means I’m attracted to more than one gender.” It’s about the capacity for attraction, not experimentation.

What if my partner reacts negatively or doesn’t understand?

Give them space to process and protect your energy; lean on community support, and remember their reaction doesn’t define your identity.

Should I always disclose my bisexuality on the first date?

There’s no rule. Share on your terms- first date if you want clarity, later if it feels safer or more natural.

How do I keep my boundaries safe while being open about my identity?

Share only what feels right, and say when a question is too personal. Curiosity doesn’t override your boundaries.

Resources for Explaining Bisexuality

Am I Bi? How To Start Exploring Bisexuality

Understanding Bisexuality

A Beginner’s Guide to Bisexuality

Bisexuality and Expectations 

Bisexual Organizing Project

Bi Visibility Resource List Final

Bi Book Club: Bisexuality, the Basics