Select your language

Download HER

Lesbian Dilemma: Should You Follow Your Ex on Instagram?

Avatar photo

Jan 23, 2024

Lesbian Dilemma: Should You Follow Your Ex on Instagram?

Ever been caught in the crosshairs of digital love and loss? A lesbian should follow her ex on Instagram, you say, but is that a path to closure or just another rabbit hole down memory lane?

Maybe you’re one click away from seeing your past reflected back at you through filtered snapshots—that cafe where she first held your hand, now just pixels on a screen.

We’ve all faced this predicament. To follow or not to follow – it’s the modern-day version of Shakespeare’s classic dilemma. And believe me, the stakes are equally high!

This post peels back layers of queer relationships, social media etiquette, and self-preservation tactics in breakups. You’ll get tips on navigating those choppy digital waters gracefully while watching for potential icebergs (aka red flags).

Let’s dive in and explore together.

The role of social media in queer relationships

Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok have become integral parts of our love lives. They not only shape how we present ourselves but also influence the dynamics within queer relationships.

A notable trend is that many lesbian and queer women maintain friendships with their exes online, especially on Instagram. But here’s the catch – distinguishing between healthy friendships and toxic connections with exes is crucial.

This balance can be tricky because while being friends may feel like part of an extended family, having a good bond with an ex can sometimes raise red flags when dating someone new.

Following your ex on Instagram or TikTok after a breakup can be like stepping onto an emotional roller coaster. Seeing their love life unfold online might give you a sense of closure, but it could also spark jealousy and resentment.

The dinner party test: Assessing your comfort level with seeing your ex’s new life unfold online

Imagine attending a dinner party where your ex is present. Would you feel comfortable chatting about recent events in each other’s lives? If the prospect of such a situation makes you uneasy, it’s probably best to avoid viewing their online profiles.

In my experience as a queer relationship expert, setting healthy boundaries post-breakup helps pave the way toward healing. Remember that following or not following them doesn’t reflect how much you care—it’s more about self-preservation during this tender time.

Understanding the healing process after a breakup

Post-breakup healing is a journey. It’s crucial to understand your emotions and respect them. This often involves achieving emotional detachment, which is vital when considering whether to follow an ex on Instagram or TikTok.

You need time and space to heal before viewing their life updates without pain or jealousy. If seeing posts from your ex makes your heart sink, it may be too soon for that level of interaction.

The pros and cons of following your ex on Instagram

Staying connected with an ex on Instagram can be a tricky terrain. It offers a window into their life but might trigger unwanted feelings.

The good side

You get to stay updated about each other’s lives. This could even rekindle your friendship post-breakup.

The flip side

Sometimes, posts photos may stir up old emotions or make you feel jealous if they seem happier without you. Monitoring your mental wellbeing while using social media after a split is essential.

In today’s digital age, social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok play a pivotal role in shaping queer relationships.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with an ex may be seen as suspicious when beginning to date someone new.

Tips for maintaining healthy boundaries on social media

Post-breakup, it’s essential to maintain healthy boundaries online. When deciding whether or not to follow an ex on Instagram or TikTok, emotional detachment is crucial.

You may have moved past the heartache and now share a platonic bond with your ex. That’s cool. But before you hit that ‘Follow’ button, ask yourself: are you emotionally detached?

If seeing their posts stirs up strong emotions or you find yourself stalking their profile obsessively – these are red flags. It’s probably best not to follow them until such feelings subside.

Using social media as a tool for personal growth and empowerment

Social media, particularly platforms like Instagram and TikTok, can be more than just spaces for sharing selfies or dance videos. They offer potential tools for personal growth post-breakup.

TikTok, with its myriad of queer relationship experts, provides advice on moving forward after a breakup. Meanwhile, Instagram offers opportunities to connect with supportive communities who’ve been there too.

By using these platforms mindfully – following inspiring accounts rather than stalking your ex’s page – you turn them into tools that foster self-empowerment and growth in the aftermath of heartbreak.

Leveraging social media to connect with the queer community

Social media, especially platforms like Instagram and TikTok, have become powerful tools for connection within the queer community. These digital arenas are more than just a spot to upload pics or provide updates on life; they’re virtual places where we can investigate our identities and interact over common experiences.

TikTok has emerged as an important platform for queer voices. From humorous skits that playfully use slang terms from queer culture to heartfelt videos about coming out or navigating gender identity, this social media platform allows us all a glimpse into each other’s lives.

As our digital footprints grow, so does the complexity of maintaining relationships online. This holds true for everyone but carries a unique significance within queer communities.

Social media platforms, like Instagram and TikTok, are transforming how we connect with each other. These spaces allow us to showcase aspects of ourselves that might not get spotlighted otherwise.

The lines between past and present blur when your ex’s posts appear on your feed – it can feel like you’re still part of their life story, even if you’ve moved on.

Balancing privacy and authenticity on social media

Being real on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok can feel like a tightrope walk. Navigating social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok requires a careful balance between revealing your life and not divulging too much.

Your Instagram account is an extension of you. It’s important to keep it authentic while protecting your privacy.

Consider if you would be comfortable seeing the content in someone else’s feed when posting. That means no oversharing about personal issues or airing dirty laundry online.


Should your girlfriend follow her ex on Instagram?

This boils down to trust and communication. If it doesn’t cause discomfort or distrust in the relationship, then there’s no harm. 

Is it wrong to follow exes on Instagram?

No, not inherently. It depends entirely on the intent behind following and whether you’ve moved past any lingering feelings.

Is following an ex on Instagram a red flag?

Potentially, yes. That can be problematic if one is still emotionally attached or unable to move forward because of their online presence. But honestly, most of the time it isn’t! Remember, communication is key. So, if it makes you or your new S.O. uncomfortable, try to have an honest and empathetic conversation about it.

Why would an ex-girlfriend follow you on Instagram?

An ex might keep tabs out of curiosity about your life post-breakup or because they want to maintain some level of friendship.

We’ve explored the emotional labyrinth of breakups, recognizing that healing is paramount before any online reconnection can occur.

We’ve looked at red flags and healthy boundaries. Remember: your peace of mind comes first! Don’t let social media hinder your growth or empowerment after a breakup.

Ultimately, it’s all about balance – between privacy and authenticity, past connections and future ones. So take what you’ve learned here to heart as you traverse those complex virtual landscapes with grace!

Avatar photo

Taylor Gobar is the indomitable force behind HER's marketing strategy. Hailing from sunny San Diego, CA, Taylor's heart is set on Berlin, a city that pulsates with progressive values and politics. But for now, you'll find them shaking things up in the NYC political scene, passionately pushing for socialist policies in the Lower East Side. And if you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of Taylor's musical prowess at the city's karaoke bars, where they're known to belt out a tune or two. Because who said revolutionaries can't have a little fun?

Newsletter Sign Up