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I’m Going on My First Date with a Girl – HELP!

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Apr 15, 2022

I’m Going on My First Date with a Girl – HELP!
  • You’re going through a rush of emotions right now. You have a date with a beautiful girl that you’ve had your eye on for a while. Unsure of whether you would even get the date with her, you feel a sense of relief. Until panic sets in again. Maybe you’ve been on a million first dates, but never with a girl. Questions are running through your head such as “How do I date a girl?”, “Will I impress her?”, “What do I say?”. It’s easy to allow your thoughts to run rampant, but there are ways to make this experience run smoothly.

    The chances of scaring your date off forever are slimmer than you think. Allowing your amazing personality and beauty to shine through can be more than impressive for your date. Use this roadmap to navigate your first date with a girl.

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    Start with an Activity

    Thinking about what to talk about on a first date can be daunting for anyone. Alleviating some of the awkward silence is easier when choosing an activity to do together instead of a restaurant. Try a museum, hiking, pottery class or axe throwing for something new and different. Focusing on the activity allows some of the focus to be taken off each other and gives something common to bond about while doing it. You also have an instant memory to look back on if you make it to the long haul.

    Make Your Best Features Shine

    Putting your best foot forward on a first date seems like a no brainer. Focusing in on what our best features to show may not be so obvious. Of course your best outfit, hair and makeup will catch your date’s eye, but some of your less obvious traits may leave a lasting impression. Those jokes that leave your friends cracking up? Tell them. The random knowledge you have about varying topics? Say something. The second language that you speak? Show off your skills. Finding something unique about yourself that may set you apart is crucial to giving your date something to remember. 

    No Gender Roles!

    Maybe you’re used to being on dates where a man pulled out chairs, opened doors and walked outside of the sidewalk. As flattering as it may have been, it also may have brought an extra amount of formality and anxiety that made dates considerably less comfortable.

    On dates with another woman, a lot of this formality goes out the door. Both of you guys can exercise common respect for each other without the expectation or onus on one person. As a plus, when it comes to paying the bill there’s no expectation on one person either. Keep it fair by splitting the bill or whoever planned the date can offer to pay.

    Know About Yourself

    Going into any date the best conversation starters are things that you’re passionate about. Having one or two hobbies or interests that you can talk in depth about allows for a good number of conversation starters. Be willing to actively listen to your date and ask them questions about their interests as well. Conversation may naturally start to flow once you’re passionately discussing your interests.

    Diverting from the typical work and school conversation also helps to keep things new and interesting. While good conversation starters, your date is probably much more interested in discussing the latest season of Euphoria or Syd’s new album. Bring up one thing you remember discussing in pre date conversation or something you saw on their dating profile.

    WLW Dates may be Less Formal

    Among many things, one of the best things about going on dates with another woman can be how casual and comfortable the dates feel immediately. You may instantly feel right at home because of the familiar feelings of hanging out with a good girlfriend. Conversation may also be more relatable off the bat. 

    Often there’s less pressure to be sexual on the first date when going on a date with a woman as well. There’s a general sense of safety being with another woman.

    But…You Can Still Bring Her a Gift

    Though there’s typically less formality and expectation of traditional gender roles, it’s still pleasant to show up with a small gift to the date. Simple gifts like flowers, candy or a personalized sticker or pin can show excitement to your partner. Bonus points if you get them a gift based on their interests.

    Don’t Rush!

    The trope of girls going on two dates and being madly in love with each other has some truth to it. Even if you feel madly in love after the first date, exercising caution and being careful when meeting someone new is crucial. Though she may seem perfect, it’s still impossible to fully know someone after one date. Don’t make any life changing decisions before fully knowing someone.

    Make Sure to Set Boundaries Early On

    After being on the phone for hours and FaceTime until the wee hours of the morning, it can be exciting to feel like you found the potential one. Setting early boundaries is more important than ever for your safety and also ensuring that you guys are both looking for the same things.

    Meeting up in public at first is crucial. Until your comfortable with your date and have established a repertoire keep it in a location where you’re not fully alone. Boundaries surrounding sex, kissing and other physical touch is also important. Everyone moves at different paces, so discuss what you both feel at ease with. Protection is a necessity as well, with dental dams, condoms and finger cots available for sexual acts with a woman.

    Most importantly, be clear about what you want. Tell your date what’s working, what doesn’t work and everything in between. It’s better to say too much than too little.

    Find a Date with HER

    HER has a wonderful community of women that could be a potential date for you. Swipe through profiles, join communities or attend events to have opportunities to meet new people. You’ll be sure to find someone for you. Download HER today!

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    Alexandra hails from Boston, MA but is currently living in the DC Area. She's passionate about social justice, self-care, spirituality, and watching documentaries. She's no stranger to telling her story through writing and has written for a variety of freelance publications. You can find her on Instagram at @lexlexlexlexlex__.

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