For many of us, when we talk about intimacy we’re also talking about sex. However, there are other ways to feel intimate with someone. Sex doesn’t always mean intimacy and intimacy doesn’t always mean sex. In relationships, it can feel like there is a lot of pressure to have sex, but depending on your own comfort and needs, you should communicate to your partner about other things that make you feel close to someone. Not to mention, once you focus on what you need out of a relationship, you’ll be able to communicate that to everyone in your life. Here are a few tips to start the conversation about intimacy:
1. Have deep conversations. The New York Times released a popular article based on the idea that if you ask someone specific questions, you’ll fall in love with them by the end. If you really want to get to know someone, work your way through these 36 questions. The key to these questions is making sure you listen and absorb the answers.
2. Try each other’s favorite hobby. Do you love to look at the stars but your significant other likes to paint? Why not do them together? There’s a lot you can learn from doing something your partner is passionate about. Take a day and fully indulge in it together.
3. Go through your favorite songs and share memories. Most of us have specific memories that align with music we love. Whether it was your first heartbreak or your first time sneaking out, go through your favorite jams and share those stories. Bonus points for seeing each other’s favorite bands at a concert.
4. Write each other letters. With today’s modern communication, it’s easy to send quick messages. While it’s made a lot of things easier, but when was the last time you thought carefully about everything you wanted to say? Letter writing is a lost art but you can bring it back. Write something sweet for your love for the next thing you celebrate together.
5. Be close without sex. Whether you want to cuddle, take a bath together, give each other massages, or do something fun like body painting, there’s something to be said about being physically close without the expectation of sex.
6. Don’t talk for a night. Yes, talking can make you closer but try the opposite for one night. Spend the night communicating in any way possible without words. You’ll have to pay attention to each other’s body language, and it might help you notice things you didn’t notice about each other before. Plus, it will help you see how in tune with each other you are. You’ll also crush it at the next round of Charades. What moments made you feel unexpectedly close to someone around you? Tell us about it!