Blog Post

Lesbian Dating Survival Guide: 7 Tips to Keep You Sane (and Ready For Love When It Comes)

Dating can be super stressful, especially if you’ve been at it for a while.  You can start to feel burned-out, stressed out, overwhelmed, and unmotivated to keep on doing it.  And at some point, maybe late at night when you’re feeling particularly lonely, you think:

“Is this worth it? I should just give up and marry my cat/dog/softball team.”

Here are 7 tips to keep you sane (and ready for love when it finally comes knocking at your door).
Tip #1 – Take a Break. If you spend more time on lesbian dating apps, trolling Craigslist, or going to Meetups than you do sleeping, you may need to take a break to get your sanity back. Becoming too focused on dating can actually stress you out more since it consumes a disproportionate amount of your time and energy. Make sure you take time off from dating to recharge your batteries and enjoy NOT looking for Ms. Right for a while. Who knows, she may just wander into your life when you least expect it!
Tip #2 – Adjust Your Attitude. It’s easy to fall into the trap of being grumpy, frustrated or sad about your dating prospects when it’s not going well. But a negative attitude will push other women away. You’ll start giving off “bad vibes.” So try to keep a positive attitude and enjoy the dating process. You’ll feel much better about it and you’ll radiate good energy to everyone you meet – including that cute clerk at the shoe store.
Tip #3 – Enjoy Yourself. Enjoy where you are and what you’re doing. If you’re chatting with women online or at bars, just have fun and be yourself. Even when you’re on a bad date, you can still find something to enjoy (the food, the movie, or planning your escape – bathroom window, anyone?).
Tip #4 – Don’t Stress About It. Take a deep breath and reeeeeelax. Go ahead and breathe. Ahhh, doesn’t that feel better? You’ll get there. Seriously. You’ll find “The One.” She’ll be great. You’ll buy a house in the ‘burbs and go kayaking on the weekends…
Listen, stressing yourself out and getting worried isn’t helping anything or anyone. If you need to do something different, do it. But don’t waste your energy on worrying and stressing yourself out for nothing. Just keep taking action and moving forward.
Tip #5 – Live Up Your Single Life. When you’re stressing about finding a relationship, you’re missing out on all the great stuff about single life. Live it up! Binge watch Orange is The New Black, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, stay out late with your friends, and flirt with that barista at your favorite coffee shop. Enjoy all the perks of being single. You’ll miss them someday.
Tip #6 – Grow Other Relationships. Be a better friend, go on a special trip with your Mom, or help your brother build a fence around his backyard (Your brother obviously needs a fence). Growing other relationships in your life will sustain you while you look for your dream woman AND help you create a healthier relationship with her later on. It’s important to have other people in your life for emotional support. Never rely solely on her. Take the time right now to cultivate those connections.
Tip #7 – Deepen Your Connection to Yourself. Being single gives you the time and the space to focus on you. Join groups that interest you or sign up for classes you’ve always dreamt of taking. Get in touch with yourself and what you really want in your life. Fall in love with “you.” Deepening your connection to yourself with help you enjoy a more fulfilling life whether or not you’re single. And it will make you a better partner in the future!

Read more of Christine’s dating and love advice on lesbianloveguru.com