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Michele Bachmann Doesn't Understand What Being Gay Means

Jul 29, 2014

Republican Congresswoman and political laughing-stock, Michele Bachmann, recently stated on a radio interview with Faith and Liberty that gay people are basically trying to do away with age of consent laws so that we can have sex with children.  Let that just sink in for a minute.
The interview, picked up by Right Wing Watch which is basically like Kids Say The Funniest Things but with Republicans, includes Bachmann stating that she believes our community is trying to “abolish age of consent laws, which means we will do away with statutory rape laws so that adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”
Maybe we missed a meeting or fell asleep during this year’s Big Gay Summit but we don’t recall any major LGBTQ charities or rights groups trying to facilitate child abuse.  Not that we needed help trying to abuse children BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT BEING GAY IS.  That’s what being a paedophile is and there is a world of difference between the two – clearly as much difference as there is space between Michele Bachmann’s ears.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone by now that Bachmann holds this views; she’s spent much of her political career siding with the more radical elements of the Republican party and associated movements, such as the Tea Party activists hilariously called ‘teabaggers’.  That’s never not going to be funny to us.  Speaking of funny, here’s Miley Cyrus playing Bachmann in a Saturday Night Live sketch.
Anyone hurt by Bachmann’s ludicrous assertions about homosexuals should take comfort in the fact that, in Obama’s America, she’s limited politically by her beliefs and is unlikely to really make any political changes that will effect the way you live your life.  Her Republican cohorts who actually have influence will always worry the LGBTQ community but, when it comes her specifically, it’s almost like being barked at by a rabid dog who’s had it’s teeth pulled.  You just end up with a dog gumming your arm; not actually hurting you but leaving you covered in saliva and feeling gross.
The thing that’s most worrying is the fact that not only is it awful that Bachmann espouses her views as if they came directly from the God’s mouth to her ear, but that she and her husband, Marcus, run Counseling Care – a clinic where, as well as legitimate counseling, reparative therapies were performed in attempts to change sexual orientations or behaviours.  The clinic made attempts to deny this but were of course busted.  So the fact that, in 2014, Bachmann still has super bizarre ideas about what being gay means is no surprise, she’s just unable to shake off a lifelong dedication to homophobia. 
It’s a shame that Bachmann is unable to educate herself and join the rest of us on the right side of history.  When you’re ready to understand that homosexuals aren’t paedophiles, we’ll be waiting for you Michele, with arms and legs wide open.

[Edited: clarity and tone]

Emily is the Community Manager of Dattch as well a part-time film reviewer and full-time cookie monster.  She can’t walk in heels, is a crossbreed of Essex girl and Londoner and makes cupcakes like nobody’s business.  Find further nonsense from Emily on Twitter @moulder5000

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