Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Sep 26, 2023
Platonic partnerships are nothing new. In the late 1700s, the ladies of Llangollen received worldwide attention for their “unconventional” partnership. By the early 20th century, the term “Boston marriage” was coined, referring to two women who lived together (sometimes romantically, sometimes platonically).
Today, many queer folks are trying different types of relationships and recognizing that it isn’t always realistic for one person to meet all our needs.
Let’s explore the meaning of platonic partnerships, what they look like, and how to know if a platonic partnership is right for you!
Platonic partners share a close bond and a deep level of commitment – without sex or romance. They may share a home, finances, children, and life goals.
Let’s look at a few key components of platonic partnerships:
Getting to spend every day with someone you care about and feel comfortable around can be deeply rewarding.
Like any other LGBTQ partner, platonic partners see themselves as life partners with a long-term commitment. They may have other partners or just each other.
This support often goes beyond casual friendship and looks like the emotional support you would share with a partner or best friend.
These may include buying a home together, raising children, traveling, or pursuing individual career goals.
April Lee and Renee Wong consider each other platonic “soulmates”. Not only do they share an apartment and finances, but they have also supported each other through pivotal challenges, personal growth, and many big milestones. While they’re free to date others, they find comfort in their long-term commitment to one another.
Linda and Christopher divorced after Linda came out as gay, but continued living together with their two kids. When Linda and her girlfriend Maddie decided to have a child, Christopher offered to be their sperm donor. The three adults have committed to living and co-parenting their soon-to-be three children together. Pretty amazing right?!
Some questions to ask yourself:
| Platonic Partnership | Platonic Friendship | |
| Long-Term Commitment | More common | Less common |
| Shared Life Goals | More common | Less common |
| Emotional Support | More common | Common, but varies |
| Value/Importance | Often a primary relationship | Secondary relationship(s) |
Absolutely! However, most people choose platonic partnerships because they’re comfortable keeping things platonic.
Definitely! Platonic partners may choose to have kids and share parenting responsibilities.
No, platonic partnerships can work for people of all sexual orientations!
Check out our guide to asexual dating to help you meet an LGBTQ partner(s) and find community with HER.
Today, more people are open to exploring different types of relationships that don’t fit the molds of the past. Platonic partnerships allow people to enjoy the benefits of a committed relationship without the romantic and/or sexual pressure. There is no one right way – just what works for you and your partner(s).
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
