Blog Post

Stride of Pride vs. Walk of Shame

Finger-brushed teeth?  Check! Messy topknot bun hair? Check!  Wearing last night’s clothes, dirty knickers and wishing you had a pair of sunglasses on?  Check, check and check!
Mix those in with walking down a street you may or may not be familiar with and that, ladies and gentlemen, is called doing the ‘Walk of Shame’.  As I’m currently writing about this, you’ve probably guessed that I have personal experience of doing the Walk of Shame and lately I’ve been wondering people are feeling shame.  I know it’s not just me carrying my heels home on the tube wearing a party dress at 9am because I see other people doing it too, so I’m starting to question the part where people are embarrassed by having had a good night out.
The majority of the times I’ve done it have been related to staying out too late with friends and having to crash at theirs with next-day pit stops at McDonalds for both food and use of the bathroom.  A tactical hangover chunder before getting home or to work is often necessary.
There’s another walk of shame that happens too.  Yeah, you know it.  The sex one.  I’ve turned up at work the next day in the same clothes because I went on a date and things got fruity (no bananas though).  I did have a shower before leaving, mind.  And luckily I carry perfume in my bag at all times so could at least smell nice and not like I’d been up all night getting some.  Not having anyone to work with the next day did make the situation easier as well; we all know how friends and colleagues can be the next day.
Being a lesbian has its perks in those walk of shame situations as well.  You can ask to borrow a clean pair of knickers – which you won’t be borrowing if you don’t see them again but you generally get the oldest pair they don’t care about.  You’re also guaranteed a good hairbrush to help tame the sex/bed hair and some kind of make-up removal products so you don’t do the walk with massive huge panda eyes of doom.
When I think about the times I’ve not been home from the night before, I realise that I’ve not been ashamed.  I’ve been pretty chuffed about having a brilliant night out, hangover excluded.  Let’s bring on the Stride of Pride, like my friend Emily says, and embrace the fact that we’re up with the joggers and have had a little bit too much fun with my friends and/or a hot woman.  It’s definitely something to be proud of, panda eyes and sex hair included.
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Jackie is the kind of lesbian who likes knitting in pubs, music festivals and bringing her Running Man moves to the dancefloor on a regular basis. Even in heels (success rates vary). Find Jackie at Beatrix & Alabama and over on Twitter @BeatrixAlabama