Tea with Auntie: Catfish Crush

By HER Team |

Tea with Auntie is a bi-weekly advice segment. Have questions you want Auntie to answer? Share your questions here: https://her.typeform.com/to/LxR7iz

I’m scared to fall in love. I’ve never been in a “real” relationship, only some online ones from apps like Badoo, Bumble, and hangouts cause I met a girl on Google+. This next story is crazy. I met this girl on an app, and deleted it after I met her. So, the crazy part is, she turned out to be a catfish. Now while texting how I felt betrayed about how I had found out she was a catfish, I expect the catfished to respond for their actions. But to my surprise only later to find out the 19 year old girl who catfished me, fully apologized for her actions and lying about who she was. I was hesitant about responding but I did and I found out who she really was, where she lives, etc. and we’ve talked and FaceTimed since. Now, since then, she’s said that the feelings she had for me were true besides being an impersonator. She says she loves and cares for me dearly, and I had feelings for her in the beginning, but after feeling betrayed I kind of closed some feelings off. So I guess my question is how do I know if I’m falling or in love with this girl? I’ve been betrayed, ghosted, put off by so many other people how do I know she won’t do the same? What if I’m too annoying or something for her? – Snow, 18

Auntie: Let me make sure I understand this. You met up with this girl, to only find out she had catfished you, and because she is stating that she has feelings you are now wondering if you have feelings? And worried about whether you are too annoying for the person that already lied to you about their identity? *sips the rest of my tea. Girl. I know there are some people who believe in true love, the show Catfish has had crazier endings then the people ending up together. For me, if you start a connection with lies then it is going to end with more lies. But, even though you say you have closed off feelings it seems like you are interested and will always wonder what if. Auntie says pass on this one, but ultimately it is up to you.

Community, what do you think? Stay and figure it out or keep it moving? Sound off in the comments!