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What to do before you U-Haul?

Sep 20, 2019

Womxn in the LGBTQ+ community get a bad reputation for uhauling aka moving in too quickly. Why do we feel the need to uhaul in our relationships? Just because it was a miracle that someone actually messaged back, or you actually had a whole conversation that didn’t revolve around your pets? That doesn’t mean you need to rush into co-habitating. Try out some of these activities that will show both of your true colors and make it very clear whether you want to move forward or take a step back.

  1. Travel together
    Trips are the number one way for you to get to know a person. If you take a long road trip, you can see how they deal with traffic, hotels, unexpected car issues, splitting gas and so much more. Flying? Take an international trip or cross country trip and see what they are like on the plane, during a delay, lost luggage – so many things can go very wrong or extremely right when traveling and you want to be sure that is seen before moving in together. Behaviors while traveling are most likely behaviors you will see at home
  2. Get in an argument
    This may sound counterintuitive, but you have to at least have a disagreement. Figuring out how each of you reacts and responds to conflict is extremely important to be able to establish your conflict resolution skills. Now, that doesn’t mean go out and pick a fight, but learn how to work with your partner to make sure that both of you feel heard and that your communication with each other remains strong
  3. Try cooking a new recipe
    Let’s see who is the top in the kitchen. How do you split up tasks? Can you work through the frustration of getting something wrong? Do you work together to clean up the dishes? All of these don’t mean you have to have a perfect balance of what tasks are done while cooking, but if someone is being helpful, supportive and you can have fun trying something new that is a great sign
  4. Talk about money
    Not the sexiest activity to try, but one that will make or break any relationship. Laying out a financial foundation will prevent surprise down the line when you begin to look for places to live. Even establishing who will cover the check at dinner is a great place to begin, then you can talk about financial goals, debt, current paychecks. It’s the time to be honest and open, as you will be sharing your life and space with this person
  5. Put together IKEA furniture
    Well, first go to IKEA together because that could stop you from getting to the point of building furniture together. But if you do make it to the cash register then the battle is already halfway won. After that, you might start to see some strengths and weaknesses, but in the end you all will have put together that piece of furniture and can celebrate, hopefully!

Now there are plenty of other activities you can try, but these were some of the top picks from our community. What others would you add? Join the conversation in the app and let us know!

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