Robyn Exton, Mook Phanpinit, Jessica Serviat
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Robyn Exton, Mook Phanpinit, Jessica Serviat
May 15, 2026
Finding connection as an LGBTQ+ woman or nonbinary person on the asexual spectrum can look different, but it can be just as fulfilling.
This asexual dating guide is for those seeking romance, companionship, or queerplatonic bonds without pressure to fit sexual norms.
Whether you’re newly exploring your identity or already dating confidently, the tips below will help you build authentic connections, communicate boundaries clearly and choose ace-inclusive spaces that move at your pace.
HER is more than a dating app. It’s a global sapphic community built for lesbian, bisexual, queer, nonbinary, and trans people.
For ace-spectrum women and nonbinary folks, HER offers a no-pressure environment shaped around inclusivity, safety and connection.
HER’s orientation and romantic goal settings make it easy to show how you identify and what kind of bond you want. Ace and gender filters, Incognito Mode, and See Who Likes You give users more control over visibility and comfort.
Our moderation team actively maintains respect and safety across the community.
What makes HER stand out is its mix of local and virtual communities. You can join ace-themed groups, attend in-person or online events, and meet users whose idea of intimacy mirrors yours.
It’s a space where connection, sexual or not, is seen, respected and celebrated.
If you’re looking for a fully ace-focused platform, AceSpace might be your match.
It’s designed by and for asexual users, offering a privacy-first environment that’s free to use. You can choose from a wide range of ace and romantic identity labels to describe yourself accurately.
Because AceSpace doesn’t sell user data and relies on optional perks, it suits those who prioritize strict privacy.
One tradeoff is a smaller audience and simpler design compared to community-led, feature-rich spaces like HER, but with a high concentration of ace-spectrum users who get it instantly.
Mainstream dating apps can still work well for ace LGBTQ+ daters when used intentionally.
OKCupid, for example, includes dozens of sexual and romantic orientation options, including asexuality.
Hinge’s question prompts invite clarity with humor or sincerity.
Bumble empowers women and nonbinary people to make the first move, easing some pressure ace users may feel.
| App | Ace labels available | Best for | Cost | Safety reputation |
| HER | Yes | Queer and ace community | Free + Premium | Excellent |
| AceSpace | Yes (Extensive) | Privacy-first ace dating | Free | Excellent |
| OKCupid | Yes | Broader user base | Free + Paid | Good |
| Bumble | Partial | Women-first design | Free + Paid | Good |
| Hinge | Partial | Deep conversation starters | Free + Paid | Good |
Visibility for ace identities or filters sometimes sits behind paywalls, so clarity in your profile matters even more.
Being clear about your asexual identity and relationship goals can help avoid misunderstandings early.
Stating your asexual orientation and relationship intentions in your bio helps attract people who understand your boundaries.
Try language like: “I’m asexual and seeking romantic or queerplatonic connection. Open to deep conversations, a slow pace and shared laughter.”
If you’re still understanding the ace spectrum, it can help to explore the wide range of ace identities and relationship experiences.
The ace spectrum also includes identities such as demisexuality and graysexuality.
Sharing where you fall on the ace spectrum can help normalize your identity and set the tone for meaningful connection.
Safety is foundational when using dating apps.
Before joining any dating app, check for strong moderation, transparent reporting tools and clear privacy policies.
HER and AceSpace lead with reliable moderation, verification and community reporting that reduce aphobia and harassment.
HER’s safety tools are built around queer community needs and continue evolving to protect users.
Boundaries build trust, especially for people exploring sex-favorable asexual dating or relationships with different intimacy expectations.
For ace-spectrum daters, it’s completely okay to discuss intimacy, touch and exclusivity before or as things evolve.
These conversations work best as ongoing check-ins rather than one-time discussions.
It doesn’t kill the mood; it strengthens connection through clarity and care.
In smaller cities or rural areas, ace and LGBTQ+ dating can feel limited.
Finding compatible connections often means combining local community spaces with online dating and learning how to find ace-friendly connections in broader queer spaces.
Combine HER’s community groups, queer events and online ace networks like AVEN or inclusive Discord servers.
HER’s event network across 25+ cities can help bridge those gaps by turning digital matches into real-world community.
Mainstream apps can seem free but often charge for visibility or advanced filters.
Some apps lock ace-identity search tools behind subscriptions that can cost around £20–£30 per month.
While AceSpace remains free, its smaller base can make pairing both niche and mainstream apps strategic.
Before paying for upgrades, decide which features genuinely improve your experience. Orientation filters, visibility controls, and seeing likes may only be worth paying for if the community aligns with your values and dating goals.
HER keeps key visibility tools accessible, helping ace users connect authentically without pressure.
Before signing up, take five minutes to review how an app manages your data and past security issues.
Checklist for vetting apps:
Doing a quick safety check upfront can help avoid privacy or moderation issues later, and for many LGBTQ+ users, choosing a community-led platform like HER adds an extra layer of trust.
Non-sexual intimacy is at the heart of many ace relationships.
Romantic cuddling, creative hobbies, emotional closeness, shared routines, and even thoughtful asexual date ideas are all valid forms of intimacy.
A queerplatonic relationship, for instance, is a deep, committed bond defined by affection and loyalty rather than sex or conventional romance. Many ace people also explore asexual romantic relationships that prioritize emotional intimacy and shared connection.
Profiles can reflect this by emphasizing emotional honesty, shared humor and emotional care over physical expectations.
Community support can make ace dating feel more affirming and less isolating.
Spaces like AVEN, ace Discord servers and HER’s community groups offer peers who understand ace-specific dating rhythms.
Engaging in these spaces builds confidence, offers advice and removes the need to constantly explain yourself.
Use HER’s in-app events, group chats or local meetups to expand your network, romantic or otherwise, and remind yourself that your version of love and connection belongs here.
Asexuality means experiencing little or no sexual attraction. Many ace people still seek romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic relationships built on emotional closeness.
Many ace people mention their identity on their profile or discuss it early to set clear expectations and avoid misunderstandings.
Yes. Ace and non-ace relationships can work well when both people communicate openly and respect each other’s boundaries.
Be clear about your comfort levels around intimacy, affection, and pacing. Revisit boundaries as the relationship develops.
HER is a leading choice for ace LGBTQ+ daters, thanks to its inclusive profile options, community spaces, and identity-based matching features. AceSpace and other inclusive platforms also offer ace-friendly filters and community-focused tools.
Love takes many forms, and ace love is equally vibrant. Exploring different approaches to dating while asexual can help you build connections that feel authentic and fulfilling. When you move at your rhythm, stay open and lean into supportive communities, dating can feel safe, genuine and rewarding.
Further reading on asexual dating and ace-inclusive relationships
Robyn Exton, Mook Phanpinit, Jessica Serviat
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
