Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
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Feb 29, 2020
A “gold star” lesbian refers to a lesbian woman who has only had sex with other women, and never with a cis man. They are dykes who are for some reason really proud of themselves because they haven’t interacted with a dick before. You don’t hear this term that much anymore, and if you do, the person is for sure, like, 19 years old.
A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never had sex with any other gender aside from women. If they’re using this term, they’re also probably 19.
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After a certain age, calling yourself a “gold star lesbian” is just a little sad. Actually, at any age it’s pretty weird. Thanks to compulsory heterosexuality, straightness is re-enforced through our painfully patriarchal and heteronormative society. Therefore, a lot of gay women and non-binary people understandably have a sexual history that includes cis men. That doesn’t make them different or any less “valid” than gold star lesbians. They, for example, don’t deserve a different color star just because they sucked some dick in college.
But if people insist on using this term, please know that it’s only okay to use it ironically. Know that nobody really cares that you’ve only had sex with women and no one is any less of a lesbian just becasue they have a varied and diverse history of sexual partners. Basically, everybody gets a star! You’re gay, so you’re already perfect.
Robyn is the CEO & Founder of HER. Find her on Twitter.
