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10 tips for planning the perfect transgender wedding

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Mar 13, 2023

10 tips for planning the perfect transgender wedding

Ready to tie the knot with your cutie-pie? If you, your partner, or both identify as trans, we want you to have the wedding of your dreams!

We are well aware that traditionally, weddings might have some pretty heteronormative, old-timey customs and rituals attached to them, for example, giving the bride away, having exclusively bridesmaids for one party and groomsmen for the other, or even the idea that there should always be a bride and a groom!

While there’s no roadmap for how to perfectly eliminate all norms when it comes down to the big day — we do have a couple of tips under our sleeve to help you get ready for the big day. 

 So, whether you want a cozy backyard get-together or a 5-star hotel getaway, here are 10 tips to make your ceremony the perfect LGBTQIA+ event, where you and your bae can be your beautiful, true selves and celebrate what’s most important: your love.

1. Make a vision board

I’m willing to bet my last dollar that y’all have impeccable taste and creativity, so channel that into something tangible!

A vision board is a magical tool that can help you bring your wildest wedding dreams to life. Gather all the wedding blogs, LGBTQIA+ magazines, and rainbow Pinterest boards you can find, and start compiling images, quotes, and ideas that represent you and your partner, and make your queer hearts sing!

The beauty of a vision board is that it’ll make sure y’all stay focused and organized as you plan while also helping you communicate your ideas to vendors, planners, and even the nosy aunties who are just trying to help. By having a clear image of what you want your wedding to look and feel like, you can ensure that every detail is queer AF and represents your authentic selves.

So, my loves, let’s get visualizing and create a ceremony that’s as perfect as you are! Because in this community, we know that if you can dream it, you can make it happen.

2. Find ways to make it more inclusive

We know that for a trans couple, inclusivity and representation are extremely important. So, when it comes to planning your wedding, it’s essential to make sure that everyone feels welcomed and loved, just like you would want to be at someone else’s big event!

Ways to have a queer-inclusive wedding:

  1. Have gender-neutral bathrooms. Ask your venue to accommodate!
  2. Offer guests a name tag to add their pronouns. Makes it easier to mingle between guests as well.
  3. Have a diverse wedding party. Find a new way to say bridesmaids or groomsmen, like spouse-pals.
  4. Hire queer vendors and photographers. Support your local gays!
  5. Be unapologetically you! Let your vibe inspire your guests to celebrate in the queerest way possible.

Source: Out News Global

3. Choose a trans-friendly venue

It’s normal to be a little nervous on your wedding day, but overall, you should definitely feel comfortable and at ease! Choosing a trans-friendly venue can be an incredible way to ensure that you and your guests feel safe and welcome, especially given the discrimination and prejudice that the transgender community often faces.

 When looking for a venue, research and find a space that truly welcomes all gender identities. Prioritize  a spot with policies to protect transgender guests, such as gender-neutral restrooms, and a commitment to treating all guests with respect and dignity. Don’t be afraid to ask, you have the right to be a little bit of a diva about your big moment.

Remember, my dears, your wedding is a celebration of love, and you should be able to have it in a space that celebrates you!


4. Pick the perfect wedding ouftit 

I’m gonna be real: choosing your outfit is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning! Like, who doesn’t want to live through a whole makeover/shopping montage from a tween movie? I know I do.

From trans brides who want a lovely gown, to trans grooms looking for the most dapper suit, and nonbinary newlyweds wanting to look their very best on their special day, there are plenty of options to choose from that will certainly fit everyone’s unique  personalities.

The most important thing to remember is that you do not have to conform to gender norms. Nowadays, there are brands, stores, and tailors that can make your dream queer wedding attire a reality. Express yourselves, choose the colors and fabrics you want, and feel like a million bucks while walking down the aisle.

Source: Outsports

5. Invite your chosen family

We’ve pretty much established the fact that weddings are a big deal, and one of the best parts is getting to have your favorite people by your side.

We’re talking about the people who’ve been with you through thick and thin, the ones who love you for who you are, no matter what. This could be your closest friends, mentors, or members of your community who have made you feel accepted and loved. 

Of course, your relatives can fit into that category if they’ve been lucky enough to be considered part of your chosen family as well. In fact, having them as guests at your wedding might be a great way to honor their support, showing that you appreciate having them in your life. Whether you have an intimate ceremony or a huge bash, what makes the difference is the ones that you will share this special moment with.

6. Express yourselves with decorations

Let your wedding be a pure expression of your love. Show off your personalities and make it the party you’ve always wished for. 

One of my favorite things about living in the 21st century is that weddings can literally look however we want them to! Mason jar desserts? Sign me up. A hipster wedding full of milk crates? Sure, why not. Bye-bye to needing to wear white? Sold, I can spill safely now.

Maximalism is in, so don’t be afraid to include a little about your love story in the decor. For example, little nods to your first date as a trans couple, having bouquets with each others’ favorite flowers, and mismatched dinnerware to spice things up like you spice up your lives.

The possibilities are endless, so aim high and reach for the sky when it comes to your wedding aesthetic.

Source: Green Wedding Shoes

7. Let a friend officiate

Now, I know that it isn’t that simple. But it’s also not that simple! If you didn’t go the city hall route and want a ceremony, you do need someone to marry you.

Why choose a friend, you ask? Well, for starters, having someone who knows you and your partner well can make the ceremony feel more personal and meaningful. They would need to be ordained if you want to maintain a religious aspect, or be registered by the state, which they can do online.

Just imagine your BFF telling real stories and feelings that this union evokes! It sounds like the perfect plan if it suits you, your culture and beliefs.

What matters, in the end, is that you get to say “I do” and enjoy the rest of your lives carrying this happy memory.

Source: Rock n’ Roll Bride

8. Write your own vows

One way to challenge old gendered traditions is by writing your own vows. 

When you write your own vows, you get to decide what’s important to you and your partner! You can include personal anecdotes, quotes, or even jokes that reflect your relationship. This is your chance to tell them why you love them and what they mean to you.

If you’re not sure how to begin, we got you covered!

Steps for writing your wedding vows

  1. Don’t be afraid to take inspiration. Watch some wedding videos and see what other people have written.
  2. Keep it personal. Remember, even with an audience, they are for your partner to listen to.
  3. Practice in front of a mirror. Knowing your vows perfectly will make it easier for you to recite them on the big day.
  4. Make promises. Ask yourself what you and your partner want for your future together.
  5. Consider your audience. If your partner’s great-grandma is going to be there, avoid being a little too frisky.
  6. Express your true feelings. This is your chance to tell the world how much you love them!

Source: BBC / Getty

9. Make your own traditions

Weddings look vastly different from culture to culture, and even if you want to preserve your traditions, don’t be afraid to put your own spin on them if it means you’ll be happy and comfortable at your ceremony.

You’re forming a new family. That means that you will have your personal customs that can come from little gestures to big celebrations. The point is that you are doing it together and you’ll get to share them with the people that mean the most to you.

By including elements that are important to you, you’ll be able to look back on your wedding day and remember all the little things that made it special. So why not start your own traditions? Whatever feels right, go for it.

Source: She The People

10. Enjoy planning with your partner!

This is not only about one day, but the whole journey that you’ll get to experience, together!

Enjoy every single aspect of it, from the cake tasting to the budgeting, and remember that everything that’s happening is part of something greater: a lifetime with one another.

Source: Huffington Post

Being a transgender bride, groom, or newlywed doesn’t have to be harder than it already might be. Follow these tips and you’ll ensure the wedding planning will be a total breeze.

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Renee Fonseca is a bisexual and bilingual writer with experience through multiple digital channels, always embracing her passion for creativity.

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