7 Easy Steps to Using a Dental Dam Correctly

Safer oral sex is part of how we take care of each other in queer community: not because anything is “risky” or wrong, but because pleasure lands better when everyone feels informed and supported. Whether you’re flirting, exploring, or comfortably nested in a situationship, barriers help keep things grounded and relaxed. Smart can still be sexy (we promise). 

What is a dental dam? We’re so glad you asked! A dental dam is a thin sheet of latex (or polyurethane) that’s used during oral–vulvar or oral–anal sex. It helps reduce fluid exchange, lowering the risk of STI transmission while still allowing the fun sensation to pass through. If the idea feels awkward or unfamiliar, you’re not alone. Most of us didn’t get queer-inclusive sex ed beyond the whole condom-on-a-banana lecture. Being nervous about using one is totally normal. Consider this your friendly, affirming how-to guide with no judgment, and no pressure. Just the tools you need so you can keep the vibe cute and confident.

HER’s guide to using a dental dam with care

Dental dams help lower, but don’t completely eliminate, risk for HIV and other STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV, and syphilis during oral-vulvar or oral-anal sex, according to the CDC’s dental dam guidance. They work best alongside regular testing, honest conversations about STI history, and plenty of lube (seriously. No matter how much you think you need- it’s more). It’s important to remember that using a barrier doesn’t interrupt intimacy: it is intimacy. It’s part of caring for your body and your partners, and it absolutely belongs in sapphic sex culture.

Step 1: Check the package before things heat up

Before anything sexy happens, peek at the package. Check the expiration date and feel for air pockets or damage, just like you would with a condom. If the wrapper is torn, sticky, or brittle, toss it. Store dams in a cool, dry place away from heat and sunlight so the material doesn’t break down, as noted by the Cleveland Clinic’s dental dam overview.

Step 2. Open the packet gently without tearing

Open the wrapper with your fingers (not your teeth, not scissors, not those lovely long manicured nails) to avoid punctures. Take your time. Tiny punctures can happen easily, and microtears make the barrier less effective. If it feels a little awkward at first, that’s normal. You’re learning, not ruining the moment.

Step 3: Inspect the dental dam for holes or defects

Unfold the dental dam and hold it up to the light. Stretch it slightly and check for thin spots, tears, or pinholes. If anything looks off or feels sticky, grab a new one. Even small damage can let infections pass through, per CDC guidance.

Step 4. Position the dental dam properly on the vulva or anus

Dental dams are for oral–vaginal (cunnilingus) and oral–anal (rimming) play. For oral sex on a penis, use a condom instead, as explained in WebMD’s dental dam guide. Lay the dam flat over the vulva or anus so the whole area is covered with no wrinkles before any oral contact. You or your partner can gently hold the edges to keep it in place, a tip also shared by Planned Parenthood.

Step 5. Add lube for comfort and sensation

Lube is your friend. A little water- or silicone-based lubricant on the skin side of the dam both improves sensation and helps prevent slipping. If you like a little flavor to spice things up, add a flavored, water-based lube on the mouth side. Just make sure that you check the ingredients if you’re sensitive. Avoid using oil-based products like coconut oil or petroleum jelly, which can weaken latex and increase the chance of ripping, according to CDC guidance.

Step 6. Keep it steady and single-use

Once you start, keep the dam in place for the entire act. Don’t flip it over, switch body parts, or share it between partners. If it shifts, gently hold the edges rather than pulling or stretching. New partner or new act means a new dam. Consider these harm reduction 101, backed by Planned Parenthood’s safer sex recommendations.

Step 7. Toss it when you’re done

When you’re done, wrap the dam in tissue and toss it in the trash: never the toilet. Dental dams are single-use only. New act, new dam, every (dam) time. Your pipes, and your future self, will thank you!

Types of dental dams and DIY alternatives

Here’s a quick look at your options, including allergy-friendly picks and classic queer DIYs:

Type	What to know
Latex dams	The standard: thin, stretchy, affordable, widely available (check for latex allergies).
Polyurethane dams	Latex-free and allergy-friendly with a smooth feel; great for those with sensitivities.
Flavored dams	Add taste for oral fun; read ingredients if you’re prone to irritation or allergies.
DIY from an unlubricated condom	Cut the tip off, slice lengthwise, unroll into a rectangle: solid emergency workaround supported in sex-ed guides like WebMD’s overview.
Plastic wrap	A last-resort improvisation; effectiveness is less researched, and only use new, non-microwave/vented wrap if you must.

Dental dams can be found at sex shops, some clinics, and online. Many clinics offer free or low-cost options, and non-latex and flavored varieties are widely available through Planned Parenthood resources.

Benefits and considerations when using dental dams

• Why people love them:
  • Helps reduce the risk of STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV, and syphilis during oral–vulvar and oral–anal sex (CDC).
  • Still allows plenty of sensation, especially with lube.
  • Fits naturally into sapphic harm reduction and partner care.
• Things to know:
  • Single-use only and can slip if you skip lube or wrinkle the sheet.
  • Not as common as condoms, so planning ahead helps.
  • Expert tips: avoid oil-based lube, skip spermicides, and apply flat with full coverage for best protection (CDC).

Frequently asked questions about dental dams

What is a dental dam?

A dental dam is a thin latex or polyurethane sheet placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex to block fluid exchange and help reduce the risk of STIs.

How do I use a dental dam correctly?

Use a new dam every time, check for holes, lay it flat before oral contact, add water- or silicone-based lube, and throw it away after one use.

Can I make a dental dam from a condom?

Yes! To DIY this yourself, cut the tip off an unlubricated condom, slice it lengthwise, and unroll it into a rectangle for a quick dam in a pinch.

Are oil-based lubes or flavored lubes safe with dental dams?

Stick with water- or silicone-based lubes; oil-based products can weaken latex. Flavored water-based lubes are fine if they don’t irritate you.

Where can I get dental dams, and are there non-latex options?

Check sex shops, clinics, and online stores; look for latex-free polyurethane and flavored options if you have allergies or preferences.

Do dental dams affect sensation or pleasure?

They’re thin enough for most sensations to come through. Adding lube helps keep things comfy and fun.

What else should I know to use dental dams safely?

Don’t flip or reuse dams between acts or partners, and avoid stretching or tearing the material to keep protection intact.

References & links

For more queer-centered safer sex resources, explore HER’s guides on sexual health and safe sex for trans women and our playful primer on Vagitarian: a beginner’s guide to loving vulvas.

External references

This guide draws on trusted public health and sexual health resources, including the Cleveland Clinic’s overview of dental dams and the CDC’s dental dam recommendations, with additional practical tips from Planned Parenthood and WebMD.