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Tea with Auntie: Don't Get Used

May 30, 2019

Tea with Auntie is a bi-weekly advice segment. Have questions you want Auntie to answer? Share your questions here:

Dear Auntie,
I recently met a girl on HER. She told me that she needed time to heal from her ex of 5 years and she wanted to date me. After dating for 3 weeks, she told me that she was falling in love with me and I told her I was feeling the same. The next week she told me that she was going to the Women’s Fest in Baltimore and she was afraid she wasn’t going to be faithful. We broke up and then got back together a couple weeks later. Recently she broke up with me again stating that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She said (in a text message) that she is so in love with me and she doesn’t want to hurt me but must leave because she needs time to heal. She ended with saying that she doesn’t want to hurt me further down the line and that she hopes I know how much she loves me. What do I do? My friends and family are concerned I’m just getting used. – Mary Colleen, 40

Auntie: Well, my dear, I am very happy that you have an amazing support system with your friends and family, because I have to say that I agree. You are being played like beginning game of checkers *sips tea*. Someone says they want to leave…to go to the Women’s Fest…because they feel they won’t be faithful? Nah. Especially if you all are in a monogamous relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I am here for open relationships, but this isn’t it. She needs to figure out what she wants, and currently you are the nice person that is giving her attention for when she is feeling down. But now, she’s gotten what she has needed from you and is keeping it moving. I suggest you do the same because you sound like a very sweet person, but I want you to know your worth, and you are worth more than this.

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