Tea with Auntie: Friends Forever?

By HER Team |

Tea with Auntie is a bi-weekly advice segment. Have questions you want Auntie to answer? Share your questions here: https://her.typeform.com/to/LxR7iz

I think I’m in love with my best friend of 12 years. The problem is she’s the only person outside of my family that’s been in my life for so long so I don’t have any other relationships to compare it to, to know for sure. I’ve been physically attracted to her since we first met and she was to me. Over time our relationship has grown and deepened, I would do anything to make her happy at this point. She’s my go to person, my ride or die- and I’m hers. If this were concerning anyone but her, she’s the one I would talk it over with. I’m fiercely loyal to this girl and protective of her, and I want to help her achieve everything she wants for herself. But like I said, I’ve never been friends with anyone else this long so I can’t really tell if this is the Big Love ™️ or if I love her the way I would any friend of 12 years. And she’s been hurt too badly by people in the past who were not as invested in the relationship as she was to make a move without knowing for sure what I’m feeling. She means too much to me to risk that. Any advice?Alex, 25

Auntie: Let’s rewind to the beginning of this note, to the part where you say “I’ve been physically attracted to her since we first met and she was to me” – does that not show that this could be a thing that has happened? Or was that just pre-teen angst? I understand not wanting to ruin the friendship, because those relationships are far and few between, and can see your loyalty. So, if she is as loyal to you as you are to her then this should be something that is addressed. Being open and trusting is something we are losing in the 21st century, try it. But be ready for it to go either way, because your response in the moment can help set the tone moving forward. If you have to, write it down and have your talking points, take a deep breath and do the damn thing. Wishing you the best.

HER Community, what do you think Alex should do? Sound off in the comments and I’ll see you next time.