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Tea with Auntie: ST…Idk

Mar 10, 2020

Tea with Auntie is a bi-weekly advice segment. Have questions you want Auntie to answer? Share your questions here:

I recently started dating a woman that is all around great. Has a career, great friends, works out, eats healthy…the whole nine! I really like her, but she recently disclosed to me she has genital herpes. I’m conflicted on continuing to date her because I’ve done my research and there is no sure fire way to have a sexual relationship with her without some risk of catching it. I know there is a stigma associated with herpes but, tbh, I just don’t want to catch it. Can I have a relationship without sex? Is it wrong to stop dating her over something she can’t control? – Anonymous

Auntie: Let’s go back and fact check this. There’s always a risk of contracting an STI when you have sex with anyone without practicing safe sex. And even then there is a possibility, but protection is key. Have you been able to sit down and talk about how she is handling it? It seems like she is openly communicating, which means that she probably has the means to be aware of flare ups AND be vulnerable enough to let you know what’s up. What else can you ask for? You don’t have to avoid sex, you just have to be aware and practice safe sex. You are correct, this is out of her control, but if you are doing the research then I would also suggest looking up safe sex tips as well. To be worried is normal, but don’t be rude to her about it. Open up about your concerns, talk through any questions you have and then decide.

What say you community? How would you handle this situation? Sound off in the comments

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